#I got the achievement for diversity

[mantarising]

There are once again, approximately 20 Muppet children in my lair, and as you could imagine- this is a problem. Please, come and give them new homes. I'm not sure how interested they are in serving the lightweaver.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Surveillance pricing

THIS WEEKEND (June 7–9), I'm in AMHERST, NEW YORK to keynote the 25th Annual Media Ecology Association Convention and accept the Neil Postman Award for Career Achievement in Public Intellectual Activity.

Correction, 7 June 2024: The initial version of this article erroneously described Jeffrey Roper as the founder of ATPCO. He benefited from ATPCO, but did not co-found it. The initial version of this article called ATPCO "an illegal airline price-fixing service"; while ATPCO provides information that the airlines use to set prices, it does not set prices itself, and while the DOJ investigated the company, they did not pursue a judgment declaring the service to be illegal. I regret the error.

Noted anti-capitalist agitator Adam Smith had it right: "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices."

Despite being a raving commie loon, Smith's observation was so undeniably true that regulators, policymakers, and economists couldn't help but acknowledge that it was true. The trustbusting era was defined by this idea: if we let the number of companies in a sector get too small, or if we let one or a few companies get too big, they'll eventually start to rig prices.

What's more, once an industry contracts corporate gigantism, it will become too big to jail, able to outspend and overpower the regulators charged with reining in its cheating. Anyone who believes Smith's self-evident maxim had to accept its conclusion: that companies had to be kept smaller than the state that regulated them. This wasn't about "punishing bigness" – it was the necessary precondition for a functioning market economy.

We kept companies small for the same reason that we limited the height of skyscrapers: not because we opposed height, or failed to appreciate the value of a really good penthouse view – rather, to keep the building from falling over and wrecking all the adjacent buildings and the lives of the people inside them.

Starting in the neoliberal era – Carter, then Reagan – we changed our tune. We liked big business. A business that got big was doing something right. It was perverse to shut down our best companies. Instead, we'd simply ban big companies from rigging prices. This was called the "consumer welfare" theory of antitrust. It was a total failure.

40 years later, nearly every industry is dominated by a handful of companies, and these companies price-gouge us with abandon. Worse, they use their gigantic ripoff winnings to fill war-chests that fund the corruption of democracy, capturing regulators so that they can rip us off even more, while ignoring labor, privacy and environmental law and ducking taxes.

It turns out that keeping gigantic, opaque, complex corporations honest is really hard. They have so many ways to shuffle money around that it's nearly impossible to figure out what they're doing. Digitalization makes things a million times worse, because computers allow businesses to alter their processes so they operate differently for every customer, and even for every interaction.

This is Dieselgate times a billion: VW rigged its cars to detect when they were undergoing emissions testing and switch to a less polluting, more compliant mode. But when they were on the open road, they spewed lethal quantities of toxic gas, killing people by the thousands. Computers don't make corporate leaders more evil, but they let evil corporate leaders execute far more complex and nefarious plans. Digitalization is a corporate moral hazard, making it just too easy and tempting to rig the game.

That's why Toyota, the largest car-maker in the world, just did Dieselgate again, more than a decade later. Digitalization is a temptation no giant company can resist:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c1wwj1p2wdyo

For forty years, pro-monopoly cheerleaders insisted that we could allow companies to grow to unimaginable scale and still prevent cheating. They passed rules banning companies from explicitly forming agreements to rig prices. About ten seconds later, new middlemen popped up offering "information brokerages" that helped companies rig prices without talking to one another.

Take Agri Stats: the country's hyperconcentrated meatpacking industry pays Agri Stats to "consult on prices." They provide Agri Stats with a list of their prices, and then Agri Stats suggests changes based on its analysis. What does that analysis consist of? Comparing the company's prices to its competitors, who are also Agri Stats customers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/04/dont-let-your-meat-loaf/#meaty-beaty-big-and-bouncy

In other words, Agri Stats finds the highest price for each product in the sector, then "advises" all the companies with lower prices to raise their prices to the "competitive" level, creating a one-way ratchet that sends the price of food higher and higher.

More and more sectors have an Agri Stats, and digitalization has made this price-gouging system faster, more efficient, and accessible to sectors with less concentration. Landlords, for example, have tapped into Realpage, a "data broker" that the same thing to your rent that Agri Stats does to meat prices. Realpage requires the landlords who sign up for its service to accept its "recommendations" on minimum rents, ensuring that prices only go up:

https://popular.info/p/feds-raid-corporate-landlord-escalating

Writing for The American Prospect, Luke Goldstein lays out the many ways in which these digital intermediaries have supercharged the business of price-rigging:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-06-05-three-algorithms-in-a-room/

Goldstein identifies a kind of patient zero for this ripoff epidemic: Jeffrey Roper, a former Alaska Air exec who benefited from a service that helps airlines set prices. ATPCO was investigated by the DOJ in the 1990s, but the enforcers lost their nerve and settled with the company, which agreed to apply some ornamental fig-leafs to its collusion-machine. Even those cosmetic changes were seemingly a bridge too far Roper, who left the US.

But he came back to serve as Realpage's "principal scientist" – the architect of a nationwide scheme to make rental housing vastly more expensive. For Roper, the barrier to low rents was empathy: landlords felt stirrings of shame when they made shelter unaffordable to working people. Roper called these people "idiots" who sentimentality "costs the whole system."

Sticking a rent-gouging computer between landlords and the people whose lives they ruin is a classic "accountability sink," as described in Dan Davies' new book "The Unaccountability Machine: Why Big Systems Make Terrible Decisions – and How The World Lost its Mind":

https://profilebooks.com/work/the-unaccountability-machine/

It's a form of "empiricism washing": if computers are working in the abstract realm of pure numbers, they're just moving the objective facts of the quantitative realm into the squishy, imperfect qualitative world. Davies' interview on Trashfuture is excellent:

https://trashfuturepodcast.podbean.com/e/fire-sale-at-the-accountability-store-feat-dan-davies/

To rig prices, an industry has to solve three problems: the problem of coming to an agreement to fix prices (economists call this "the collective action problem"); the problem of coming up with a price; and the problem of actually changing prices from moment to moment. This is the ripoff triangle, and like a triangle, it has many stable configurations.

The more concentrated an industry is, the easier it is to decide to rig prices. But if the industry has the benefit of digitalization, it can swap the flexibility and speed of computers for the low collective action costs from concentration. For example, grocers that switch to e-ink shelf tags can make instantaneous price-changes, meaning that every price change is less consequential – if sales fall off after a price-hike, the company can lower them again at the press of a button. That means they can collude less explicitly but still raise prices:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/26/glitchbread/#electronic-shelf-tags

My name for this digital flexibility is "twiddling." Businesses with digital back-ends can alter their "business logic" from second to second, and present different prices, payouts, rankings and other key parts of the deal to every supplier or customer they interact with:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/

Not only does twiddling make it easier to rip off suppliers, workers and customers, it also makes these crimes harder to detect. Twiddling made Dieselgate possible, and it also underpinned "Greyball," Uber's secret strategy of refusing to send cars to pick up transportation regulators who would then be able to see firsthand how many laws the company was violating:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/03/technology/uber-greyball-program-evade-authorities.html

Twiddling is so easy that it has brought price-fixing to smaller companies and less concentrated sectors, though the biggest companies still commit crimes on a scale that put these bit-players to shame. In The Prospect, David Dayen investigates the "personalized pricing" ripoff that has turned every transaction into a potential crime-scene:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-06-04-one-person-one-price/

"Personalized pricing" is the idea that everything you buy should be priced based on analysis of commercial surveillance data that predicts the maximum amount you are willing to pay.

Proponents of this idea – like Harvard's Pricing Lab with its "Billion Prices Project" – insist that this isn't a way to rip you off. Instead, it lets companies lower prices for people who have less ability to pay:

https://thebillionpricesproject.com/

This kind of weaponized credulity is totally on-brand for the pro-monopoly revolution. It's the same wishful thinking that led regulators to encourage monopolies while insisting that it would be possible to prevent "bad" monopolies from raising prices. And, as with monopolies, "personalized pricing" leads to an overall increase in prices. In econspeak, it is a "transfer of wealth from consumer to the seller."

"Personalized pricing" is one of those cuddly euphemisms that should make the hair on the back of your neck stand up. A more apt name for this practice is surveillance pricing, because the "personalization" depends on the vast underground empire of nonconsensual data-harvesting, a gnarly hairball of ad-tech companies, data-brokers, and digital devices with built-in surveillance, from smart speakers to cars:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/03/12/market-failure/#car-wars

Much of this surveillance would be impractical, because no one wants their car, printer, speaker, watch, phone, or insulin-pump to spy on them. The flexibility of digital computers means that users always have the technical ability to change how these gadgets work, so they no longer spy on their users. But an explosion of IP law has made this kind of modification illegal:

https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/

This is why apps are ground zero for surveillance pricing. The web is an open platform, and web-browsers are legal to modify. The majority of web users have installed ad-blockers that interfere with the surveillance that makes surveillance pricing possible:

https://doc.searls.com/2023/11/11/how-is-the-worlds-biggest-boycott-doing/

But apps are a closed platform, and reverse-engineering and modifying an app is a literal felony – several felonies, in fact. An app is just a web-page skinned with enough IP to make it a felony to modify it to protect your consumer, privacy or labor rights:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/07/treacherous-computing/#rewilding-the-internet

(Google is leading a charge to turn the web into the kind of enshittifier's paradise that apps represent, blocking the use of privacy plugins and proposing changes to browser architecture that would allow them to felonize modifying a browser without permission:)

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/02/self-incrimination/#wei-bai-bai

Apps are a twiddler's playground. Not only can they "customize" every interaction you have with them, but they can block you (or researchers seeking to help you) from recording and analyzing the app's activities. Worse: digital transactions are intimate, contained to the palm of your hand. The grocer whose e-ink shelf-tags flicker and reprice their offerings every few seconds can be collectively observed by people who are in the same place and can start a conversation about, say, whether to come back that night a throw a brick through the store's window to express their displeasure. A digital transaction is a lonely thing, atomized and intrinsically shielded from a public response.

That shielding is hugely important. The public hates surveillance pricing. Time and again, through all of American history, there have been massive and consequential revolts against the idea that every price should be different for every buyer. The Interstate Commerce Commission was founded after Grangers rose up against the rail companies' use of "personalized pricing" to gouge farmers.

Companies know this, which is why surveillance pricing happens in secret. Over and over, every day, you are being gouged through surveillance pricing. The sellers you interact with won't tell you about it, so to root out this practice, we have to look at the B2B sales-pitches from the companies that sell twiddling tools.

One of these companies is Plexure, partly owned by McDonald's, which provides the surveillance-pricing back-ends for McD's, Ikea, 7-Eleven, White Castle and others – basically, any time a company gives you a hard-sell to order via its apps rather than its storefronts or its website, you should assume you're getting twiddled, hard.

These companies use the enshittification playbook to trap you into using their apps. First, they offer discounts to customers who order through their apps – then, once the customers are fully committed to shopping via app, they introduce surveillance pricing and start to jack up the prices.

For example, Plexure boasts that it can predict what day a given customer is getting paid on and use that information to raise prices on all the goods the customer shops for on that day, on the assumption that you're willing to pay more when you've got a healthy bank balance.

The surveillance pricing industry represents another reason for everything you use to spy on you – any data your "smart" TV or Nest thermostat or Ring doorbell can steal from you can be readily monetized – just sell it to a surveillance pricing company, which will use it to figure out how to charge you more for everything you buy, from rent to Happy Meals.

But the vast market for surveillance data is also a potential weakness for the industry. Put frankly: the commercial surveillance industry has a lot of enemies. The only thing it has going for it is that so many of these enemies don't know that what's they're really upset about is surveillance.

Some people are upset because they think Facebook made Grampy into a Qanon. Others, because they think Insta gave their kid anorexia. Some think Tiktok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama bin Laden. Some are upset because the cops use Google location data to round up Black Lives Matter protesters, or Jan 6 insurrectionists. Some are angry about deepfake porn. Some are angry because Black people are targeted with ads for overpriced loans or colleges:

https://www.theregister.com/2024/06/04/meta_ad_algorithm_discrimination/

And some people are angry because surveillance feeds surveillance pricing. The thing is, whatever else all these people are angry about, they're all angry about surveillance. Are you angry that ad-tech is stealing a 51% share of news revenue? You're actually angry about surveillance. Are you angry that "AI" is being used to automatically reject resumes on racial, age or gender grounds? You're actually angry about surveillance.

There's a very useful analogy here to the history of the ecology movement. As James Boyle has long said, before the term "ecology" came along, there were people who cared about a lot of issues that seemed unconnected. You care about owls, I care about the ozone layer. What's the connection between charismatic nocturnal avians and the gaseous composition of the upper atmosphere? The term ecology took a thousand issues and welded them together into one movement.

That's what's on the horizon for privacy. The US hasn't had a new federal consumer privacy law since 1988, when Congress acted to ban video-store clerks from telling the newspapers what VHS cassettes you were renting:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_Privacy_Protection_Act

We are desperately overdue for a new consumer privacy law, but every time this comes up, the pro-surveillance coalition defeats the effort. but as people who care about conspiratorialism, kids' mental health, spying by foreign adversaries, phishing and fraud, and surveillance pricing all come together, they will be an unbeatable coalition:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/06/privacy-first/#but-not-just-privacy

Meanwhile, the US government is actually starting to take on these ripoff artists. The FTC is working to shut down data-brokers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/16/the-second-best-time-is-now/#the-point-of-a-system-is-what-it-does

The FBI is raiding landlords to build a case against Frontpage and other rent price-fixers:

https://popular.info/p/feds-raid-corporate-landlord-escalating

Agri Stats is facing a DoJ lawsuit:

https://www.nationalhogfarmer.com/market-news/agri-stats-loses-motions-to-transfer-dismiss-in-doj-antitrust-case

Not every federal agency has gotten the message, though. Trump's Fed Chairman, Jerome Powell – whom Biden kept on the job – has been hiking interest rates in a bid to reduce our purchasing power by making millions of Americans poorer and/or unemployed. He's doing this to fight inflation, on the theory that inflation is being cause by us being too well-off, and therefore trying to buy more goods than are for sale.

But of course, interest rates are inflationary: when interest rates go up, it gets more expensive to pay your credit card bills, lease your car, and pay a mortgage. And where we see the price of goods shooting up, there's abundant evidence that this is the result of greedflation – companies jacking up their prices and blaming inflation. Interest rate hawks say that greedflation is impossible: if one company raises its prices, its competitors will swoop in and steal their customers with lower prices.

Maybe they would do that – if they didn't have a toolbox full of algorithmic twiddling options and a deep trove of surveillance data that let them all raise prices together:

https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2024-06-05-time-for-fed-to-meet-ftc/

Someone needs to read some Adam Smith to Chairman Powell: "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices."

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/05/your-price-named/#privacy-first-again

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes, AGAIN AGAIN✦

Ghost: Release me, woman. Fem!Y/N: …. *hugs him tighter* :3 Ghost, scared of intimacy: UNHAND ME!- -- (Comedic Death Mention) Someone: I shot you six times hOW ARE YOU ALIVE?! Y/N: Fool! The only one that’s gonna knock me off is ME! Price: *PANICKING*

-- Gaz: What did you do? Soap: ….suckdickonaccident Gaz: What? Soap: Sucked dick on accident! Gaz: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU SU-

-- Gaz: Here. We’ll put your phone on the aux- Y/N: NO DON’T- Speakers on full volume: FUCKFUCKFUCKMEUPANDCUTCUTCU- Price: JESUS BLOODY CHRIST *shuts off radio* Soap: *scratching the inside of his ear* Steamin’ Jesus- Y/N: I tried to warn you! Gaz: Who listens to Slipknot at 0900?! Ghost: *raises hand* Gaz: That’s- okay that’s fair. Soap: I’ve gone deaf. Y/N: You’re a bomb tech, it was gonna happen eventually. Soap: *middle finger* Price: *disappointed sigh* It’s too early for this-

-- (This one’s kinda sad but I couldn't stop thinkin' bout it-) Alejandro: You used to be nice…or did you never used to be? Valeria: … Alejandro: Oh god…maybe you never used to be…

-- Not a quote but if any of you have heard that audio that’s the names of the Princes of Hell overlayed on Funky Town, please imagine Soap & Y/N dancing to the Funky Town portion while Ghost sits there menacingly. Thank you.

-- (Depression joke) Y/N: Ahaaaa I’m soooo unwell. Price: Go to the psyche- Y/N: Ya know what it never was? That serious. It was never that serious- Price: Get your ass back here- Y/N: NEVER!-

-- König: I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, I’ll die. Horangi: No-

-- (Valeria has no color here, I ran out) Valeria: *eye roll* I am not trying to seduce you. Y/N, bi panicking: …. Valeria, but now smug: Would you like me to seduce you? Y/N: *strained wheeze & squeaky* Already achieved ma’am- Gaz: *listening to a mic implanted on Y/N* God damnit dON’T LET YOUR MOMMY ISSUES RUIN THIS MISSION!

-- (These next two have mental health jokes in’em) Y/N, hyper cleaning the base: AHAHA, yes! I’m finally feeling bett- ah, wait. I’m manic, and I’m hyper cleaning everything, ✨as a diversion✨. Price: P s y c h e . Y/N: Jokes on you, old man. I already have meds for this! …might need to up them though they feel like they’ve stopped working. Price: When did you start to feel they weren’t working? Y/N: Like three months ago. Price: PSYCHE Y/N: ASKING THEM QUESTIONS ABOUT MEDS ARE SCAAAARRYYY Price: YOU KILL MEN ALMOST EVERYDAY Y/N: Fair point. (Take ya meds)

-- Price: I don’t understand you- Y/N: Good! Means you’re probably mentally well. Price: I- Gaz: We really need to like- specify when you’re joking and when you’re serious, you’re gonna give him a heart attack.

-- Gaz: …Hm. Price: You’ve been staring at me for the past six minutes, what is it?Gaz: I think you have a grey hair. Price: Y/N, speeding in: WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE, IT’S BARELY EVEN THERE AND EVEN IF YOU WERE GOING GREY IT’D LOOK FANTASTIC ON YOU. Price: …would it? Y/N: Absolutely! …*thumps Gaz in the back of the head* Gaz: Ow-Uh yeah! Yeah! Actually I don’t even think it’s there, just the lighting. Price: Hm…alright. Y/N: Mhm! *death glare* Gaz: *mouthing* I’msosorry-

-- (Will someone please notice that I write Ghost as "Simon" when he's with Soap and they're being soft? It's intentional-) Soap: I’m not really sure what I’d do if I lost you… Simon: I know what I’d do. Soap: What? Simon: I’d find you.

-- Soap: I got my ankles microwaved. Ghost: X-rayed. Soap: They took my blood away for science! Ghost: Cholesterol tests. Soap: Si had his sinuses…removed? Ghost: Looked at. Soap: Some guy looked at my penis, touched it. That was weird. Ghost, cleaning blood off a knife: That guy wasn’t even a doctor.

-- Medic!Y/N: You think killing is hard? Try healing something. That is hard, that requires patience. Alejandro, watching them bandage his hand: Hm… Medic!Y/N: You can break something in two seconds. *vaguely motions to Ghost, then Price, then at a necklace Alejandro wears that came from Valeria* But it can take forever to fix it. Alejandro: …aye…well said.

-- Gaz: *being annoying and singing a song for the 10,000th time* Price: KYLE! Gaz: I’m watchin’ my tone, dunana. I ain’t talkin’ back, no, why? Cause I’ma get thrown, dunana-

-- Graves: You know, Ghost, real talk bro, you never say nothin’ when you’re around us. Why is that? Ghost: Cause I don’t fucking like you guys.

-- Enemy: I’m gonna send you to God. Y/N: God? I’m insulted you think I’d end up in Heaven. I work hard for my sins, thank you very much. Ghost: We are hostages right now, can you please not-

-- Valeria: And guess who gets to be my little helper.~ Y/N: It’s me, I’m the helper… Valeria: That’s right, you sure are.~ Alejandro: Alright that’s enough! Valeria: What? You don’t believe in positive affirmation?

-- Rudy: Me gustan los perros. Alejandro: Me gustas… Rudy: ….hm. Me gusta un hombre en el ejército. Alejandro: Aye? Rudy: Mhm. Alejandro: *chuckles* Me gusta mi mejor amigo. Rudy: Me gustas.

(This was poorly translated but listen, I tried for the gays)

-- Price: You actually were telling the truth. Valeria: I do that quite a lot, you people are always surprised.

-- Laswell: Don’t pull any of those stunts like you did last time. Fem!Y/N: I made an offering. Laswell: You dropped a dead mouse into that poor man’s lap. Fem!Y/N: Yes! Like a cat. Laswell: You are not a cat! Fem:Y/N: No…tragically, I am a woman.

-- Ghost: Some people are simply…better than others. Graves: You really think you’re that much better than me? Ghost: Oh I think we both know the answer to that.

--

(Needing to fake a date for a mission) Y/N, on the phone: Laswell, I don’t need help with dating. I’ve been on loads of dates! Y/N: *turns and whispers to Gaz* I’ve literally been on one.

-- Enemy: Think you can answer questions without the usual level of sarcasm? Y/N: If you can ask them without the usual level of stupid. Enemy: Where’s your captain and why hasn’t anyone been able to contact him? Y/N: I dunno, I’ve been here, haven’t seen him in days. Enemy: Is he drinking again? Y/N: What do you mean again? He never had to stop. Enemy: But he did have to slow down, is he drinking like he used to? Y/N: Alright, how bout this? Next time I see him, I’ll give’im the field sobriety test, okay? We’ll do the alphabet, start with F & end with U.

-- Graves: And that’s why I personally, don’t agree with your opinion. Soap: Okay, counter point- Graves: Valid argument? Soap: No. Pipebomb!

-- Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: Y/N: I’ma instigate. Gaz, lightly pulling them back: nnnnoooooooooo-

-- Y/N: Eeraaawr >:3 Gaz: What sound is that? Y/N: A dyianosaur Gaz: A what? Y/N: Dianoswaur. Gaz: Make the sound again. Y/N: Uurraawer Gaz: Oh you talkin’ bout them things from ✨Jerressi PerAHck✨ Y/N: AHAH! Ghost: I’m gonna lose it. Soap: Hush yer mouth, it’s cute. Lighten up ya big log.

-- Ghost: I think I’ve finally had enough. Y/N, getting his antidepressants: I think you’re full of shit.

-- Medic!Y/N: C’mon, stick with me, Ghost. Ghost: Might be time to follow my call si-OH FUCKING HELL WHY Medic!Y/N: You listen here you Fuckin’ bastard, I’m gonna love the absolute shit out of you until you never make a joke like that again. And then, if you still do it, I’ll have the team smother, smother, you in affection. And if you STILL don’t get it, THEN I’m gonna whoop your ass. Shut your perfect fucking mouth, you got that, soldier?! Ghost: ….since when did you get scary? Medic!Y/N: Adrenalin keeps people alive and sometimes we run out of epipens, had to substitute somehow.

-- Price: Now, sergent, what would you rather be? A lion or a panda? Soap: Captain, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else? Price: I’m not sure you realize how psychologically healthy that is.

-- Ghost, pissed off: Sometimes I can’t stand you. Y/N, while walking away: Then kneel! And while you’re down there, occupy your mouth, you’d do better down there, QUIET, anyway!! Ghost: I-…… Soap: Oooooo…. Gaz: I- I-…they have no fear. None. Absolutely no survival instinct, no self preservation. None!

-- (Younger Y/N as in like…mid-late twenties. Also, this one is long. I might honestly make a lil oneshot with this one and I welcome anyone else to do the same) Y/N: John… Price: I know, I know. You love me. You’ve said it a thousand times and it should just stick, I just…can’t help but think about how you’re so… Y/N: *snort* Out of your league? Price: To put it bluntly. Y/N: Well, regardless of where I rank? I still love you. I’m going to love you for a long time, you’re stuck with me, ya sweethearted bastard. Price, fondly: Ah Dear, whatever will I do. Y/N: Yeaaaah. Besides! Even if I wasn’t completely and utterly, disgustingly, in love with you? …you are way too good of a sugar daddy to ditch. Price: Hah! Oh really? Why’s that? Y/N: Are you kidding?! Paid off house, paid off car, successful military captain, great manners, great dick, extremely attractive, good with kids, good cook, sexy voice. I could go on for awhile. Price: Oh now you’re just feedin’ my ego. Y/N: Yes, yes I am. Price: I’ll get cocky. Y/N: You’re sexy when you’re arrogant too, that doesn’t deter me. Price: *sigh* Far out of my league. Y/N: You’re a rank climber, I think you’ll keep up.

-- (NSFW but it's in a ha-ha funny way, based on a conversation I've had. Kink mentions) Soap: Look, I just...I need advice on how to spice it up in the bedroom. Y/N: Do you know how little that narrows it down? Gaz: I feel there are few options. Y/N: No there are a lot of options, it depends on your level of spice. I dunno your boundaries wit'cha man! Soap: I just need something! Y/N: THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS! Get some handcuffs, grab a vibrator, TRY ANAL, I don't fucking know! Gaz: *chokes on drink* Soap: Okay, listen- Y/N: No, you listen. Rule of thumb with kinks? It's a mountain and there are three kinds of people on it. People who don't wanna climb, people who want to climb but choose not to, and people who stay climbing. You reach a level of kinkiness and you stay there. You can't go back down the mountain. Me, personally? I have chosen to stop climbing because I know I'll get worse. I'm choosing to stay on my part of the mountain. Where you wanna climb is up to you. Soap: Where do I climb then? Y/N: The beginner's trail is fuzzy handcuffs, orgasm control, and mirror sex. Soap: This is the weirdest advice I've ever gotten. Y/N: It's my specialty.

-- (Follow it up with an asexual joke) Graves: Are you fighting the urge to make out with me right now? Y/N: Not really, I'm really into this pizza though. Soap, in the back: Aw they burnt my fuckin' cookies! Assholes. Y/N: Karma. Soap: It is not my fault I ate the last slice of cake, I didn't know it was yours- Y/N: IT WAS LABELED! Soap: I DIDN'T SEE IT!! Graves: *slowly backs away*

-- Y/N, holding up a coffee pot: Anyone want more coffee? Price: No, we've all had ours. Y/N: *takes off the lid* Cool. Gaz: What are y-NO! Y/N: *chugging from the pot* Ghost: ...This is the peak of mental illness. Price: PUT THE DAMN POT DOWN! Soap: This is the scariest thing I've ever seen them do- Y/N: *fighting to finish the coffee as Price tries to get it away from them*

[moowmoon]

AFTER SCHOOL

— aaron hotchner x fem!reader

— summary: aaron was sure that he would win the teddy bear, but sometimes not even the BAU chief's aim can help him.

— c/w: i think none?

— w/c: 858

— a/n: hi! this is the first work that i publish in this account and i hope you guys like it! this drabble was based on the song "after school" by the girl group weekly and i choose to use the colorful and fun vibe from the mv to inspire me to write this drabble. english is not my first language, so forgive me if there's any mistake!

moowmoon playlist

“i can’t forget your face back then

we melt into each other, you feel

like another me rather than a friend”

— after school, weekly.

The amusement park emanated life, full of laughter, and the irresistible smell of cotton candy, and was illuminated with the most diverse colors of lights. People walked in all directions, chatting animatedly inside their homes and families, while children ran around trying out all the rides. There was a magical, carefree atmosphere in the air, which contrasted perfectly with the normally controlled and risky life of the head of BAU.

Aaron was sitting next to her, carefully observing the movement around the two of them with a small smile on his face, but still with a watchful eye - a habit he had acquired the moment he was promoted to head of the unit. It had been years since he had allowed himself to relax like this. His attention, however, turned to a target-shooting stand where large, colorful teddies hung like trophies for the winners. He noticed her watching one of the capybaras with an amused twinkle in her eye.

“Would you like to try?” she asked, already wondering what the answer would be.

Hotch nodded, shrugged, and let out a short laugh. “Why not? It seems easy enough.”

The glint of defiance in her eyes made Aaron approach the stall, determined to win that plush to impress her. And to achieve this, he only had four attempts. Aaron chose and adjusted the toy rifle in his hands, taking careful aim. He took a deep breath, mentally calculating the angle, determined to get it right the first time and excited to win the plush for her. However, when he pulled the trigger, the cork flew off to the side, nowhere near the target.

She let out a soft laugh, with an amused twinkle in her eyes. “I'm thinking it's a bit harder than the wall, huh.”

He frowned, refusing to give up so easily, after all, he was a man with a simple and firm goal: to win that capybara for her. He prepared himself again, aiming more carefully. This time, the projectile grazed the target but still failed to bring it down.

She laughed again, but this time her voice carried a hint of gentle teasing. “It seems that the infamous Agent Hotchner, strict head of the BAU, is having trouble hitting a target?”

He took a breath, frustrated, but with a slight smile appearing on his face. “You'll see. I just need one more try and the capybara will be all yours.”

He tried once more and… missed again.

This time, she couldn't hold back her laughter. Aaron looked at her, the seriousness of his appearance melting into a complicit smile, his gaze almost defiant.

“Okay,” he said, laughing, ”maybe it's harder than I thought.”

“You've only got one more try, so be careful not to miss,” she said, as she looked at the rifle in her hands.

“Do you want to try? You might be luckier than me.”

She stepped forward, holding out her hand for the toy rifle with a playful smile. Aaron raised his eyebrows, clearly doubting that she would be able to hit the target, but handed over the gun.

“Let me show you how to do it,” she said, winking slightly as he crossed his arms, skeptical.

She laughed and raised the rifle, adjusting her aim with a focused look that made him realize how much fun she was having. She took a deep breath and, with surprising ease, pulled the trigger. The cork flew in a direct line and, to both their surprise, hit the target precisely, knocking it over with a perfect “clang”.

The stall attendant applauded, picking up the large plush and handing it to her. She turned to Aaron with the most victorious smile he had ever seen.

“See, it's just a question of talent,” she joked, holding up the plush.

He shook his head, feigning an expression of resignation and raising his hands in the air. “I surrender. Looks like you're the expert here, not me.”

With the plush in her hands, she took a step towards Aaron, smiling triumphantly. He let out a light laugh, his expression finally relaxing after three failed attempts.

“You really stole the show,” he said, amused, holding out his hand to her.

She entwined her fingers in his without hesitation, and together they began to walk through the park. The plush, a large capybara with a turtle backpack on its head, swayed between them, each step keeping them closer and more in tune.

“Who would have thought that the great agent Aaron Hotchner would lose to a game of target shooting in an amusement park?” she teased, still laughing.

Aaron just shrugged, without wiping the smile off his face. “Let's just say it was a sacrifice worthy of good company.”

As they walked hand in hand, the light from the bars and toys gently illuminated the path, creating a bubble of calm and happiness around them. At that moment, the world seemed a little simpler, and he felt something rare: the pure pleasure of the shared moment.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ortho Shroud - Platinum Gear Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Ortho: So, this is the Land of Dawning's National Museum of Art… It really has such a large and diverse collection of various genres of artwork. This is essentially a database of art.

Ortho: According to the map I installed, this exhibit should hold the painting I'm looking for…

???: An enormous dog with three heads and sharp fangs… A frightening creature, indeed. I would have loved to have seen it personally.

Ortho: Hello, Jade Leech-san. I was just here to check out the Cerberus painting, too.

Jade: Is that so? As a creature that served the Lord of the Underworld, the Cerberus truly did have a powerful aura about it.

Jade: I'm sure with all 6 of those eyes keenly trained on the entrance to the underworld, it would have been a difficult endeavor indeed to attempt an escape.

Ortho: They're really cool, don't you think?

Ortho: But, according to lore, if they got tempted by their favorite sweets, they would end up lowering their vigilance.

Jade: Fufu, I see. So, perhaps it was a more charming creature than it looked… Would you agree?

Ortho: Yep. Also, they had one body, right, so each of the three heads ate a smaller amount of food…

Ortho: And they'd get in fights whenever they wanted to go in different directions… There's so many other cool stories about them, too.

Jade: You're very well-informed. Is this something that all Ignihyde students must know?

Ortho: Mmm, I'm not sure. I probably just know a lot since I really liked the stories in which the Cerberus would show up, and I'd read them all the time.

Ortho: Back when I was a kid, me and my brother would read picture books on the legends of the Lord of the Underworld, see…

Ortho: And even after coming to Sage's Island, whenever I learned of a new tale involving Cerberus, I'd update my database.

Jade: I see, so that's how… Well, I appreciate having been able to hear some unexpected anecdotes.

Ortho: Most would say that they look ferocious, or seem really strong, but the more you get to know them, the more cute you'll find them.

Ortho: Since Cerberus is considered a dog-like monster, I've also been collecting data on regular dog behaviors too.

Ortho: Recently, I've gotten to pet some dogs out for a walk down in Whistle Park. Of course, I ask their owners for permission, first.

Jade: A real dog… That's astounding. As I do not have much experience with them, I'm afraid I'm a tad hesitant to actually touch them, myself.

Ortho: I was a bit hesitant too, at first. I didn't really know how much strength I should put into touching a living creature…

Ortho: And since I'm a technomantic humanoid and smell different than humans, they'd be super wary of me.

Jade: Ah, that makes sense. They do have a powerful sense of smell.

Jade: So then, how is it that you've become able to interact with those dogs, Ortho-kun?

Ortho: I just would strike up a conversation with them on a regular basis and slowly built trust.

Jade: That is astounding. This is the first I've heard that you are well-versed in animal linguistics.

Ortho: I'd always had an app installed that'd let me talk with animals, but…

Ortho: Once I became a student at Night Raven College, I actually developed an animal linguistics translation tool.

Ortho: By talking to the animals first hand, I was able to improve the translations that seems a bit strange…

Ortho: Not only has was I able to improve the translation accuracy, but now I've gotten close with a bunch of dogs that they'll actually come up to me themselves once they catch sight of me!

Jade: So, in addition to achieving your goal of petting dogs, you were able to update your own translation tool… Absolutely fantastic.

Ortho: Heheh! Thanks, Jade Leech-san.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Ortho: This is a painting depicting one of the scenes from the Mermaid Princess's legend, isn't it? That's the Sea King riding that sleigh, right?

Jade: That's right, and what a dignified and gallant figure he is. What a shame he was unaware that the princess would be absent for the concert.

Ortho: He got really mad the moment he learned that the princess was going to be absent for her own debut… or so the story goes.

Ortho: I feel bad for the king, that she slipped out without telling him. But it's pretty cool that he gets to ride that dolphin-led sleigh.

Jade: Did that dolphin-led sleigh catch your eye? Then please, you must visit the Coral Sea.

Jade: They are primarily used for special events, however there are many such sleigh services geared towards surface-dwelling tourists.

Ortho: Cool, what sort of stuff? Let me search up "Coral sea dolphins sleigh" real quick…

Ortho: Here we go, there's a ton of tours, like… "Tour the Majestic Sea on a Dolphin Sleigh" and "Explore Undersea Ruins upon a Dolphin Sleigh"

Ortho: "Dolphin-led sleighs are safe and secure! Feel like a king as you partake in an elegant tour of the sea!" …Wow!

Jade: Safe and secure… I am a tad doubtful of that statement.

Ortho: You mean it's actually dangerous?

Jade: About 2 years ago, there was an incident where tourists from the surface were left stranded in the middle of the ocean.

Ortho: Let me search for any incidents having to do with dolphin sleighs. Ah, I got a hit on a news article from 2 years back.

Ortho: The stranded tourists were able to find their way to land on their own, and were all okay in the end, but…

Ortho: The touring company responsible got a ton of bad reviews after that. Looks like they got flamed pretty badly online.

Jade: Well, now… A corporation built at the bottom of the sea in which fire cannot thrive was "flamed pretty badly," you say… How wonderfully ironic.

Jade: According to the news, the dolphins merely left on a whim. If this all happened because of their mood, then what's to stop this sort of thing from happening again?

Ortho: You're right, Jade-san. This is a completely different story than just trying to fix the bugs in the system.

Ortho: I wonder if there's some sort of pattern to the timing of those dolphin mood swings. I'll have to search up on it later.

Jade: Fufu, you are quite cautious, aren't you?

Ortho: Yep! 'Cause, if I'm going to go check them out, I'd want to go when they're in one of their flippant moods!

Jade: I was not expecting that response. I completely expected you to be wanting a "safe and secure" tour.

Ortho: It might be fine just strolling around the ocean depths, but I feel like it wouldn't be as satisfying being stuck on a set path.

Ortho: If the dolphins act up, they might leave me stranded in the ocean, or take me to unexpected places…

Ortho: Doesn't it get your blood pumping to think about what sort of unpredictable moments might be waiting for you?

Jade: Indeed, I completely understand that sentiment. When everything follows organized harmony, it does get quite boring.

Jade: Then, how about I suggest a more stimulating tour for you? I assure you, this absolutely will not leave you wallowing in boredom.

Ortho: That sounds fun! I can't wait to see what kind of tour you come up for me, Jade-san.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Jade: Ah, this artwork depicts the scene where the Fairest Queen is sending out her most trusted hunter on a significant mission.

Ortho: I heard that when it comes to paintings depicting the Fairest Queen, you'll want to focus on the finer details, like the direction her face is looking, or the angle at which her finger is pointing.

Ortho: Vil Schoenheit-san told me as such when I was selected as a supporter for the museum.

Jade: That's good to know. I'm sure those in Pomefiore would be passionately moved while gazing upon this painting.

Ortho: Hmm, the concept of being moved by just looking at a painting is still a difficult one for me to grasp…

Ortho: But actually, something happened recently that's still stuck in my mind. I wonder if this is what they consider to be "moved" by something?

Jade: What a fascinating start. May I ask what sort of thing happened?

Ortho: The Film Research Club went to Crane Port for some club activities, and on the way back, I ran into this family that was fishing.

Ortho: They were chatting away about what kind of dishes they'd make if they caught anything, but their bucket was still devoid of any fish…

Ortho: Right as the dad said, "I guess we should head home," his kid caught a fish!

Ortho: Everyone looked so happy. But what do you think that family did next?

Jade: Did they not put the fish in the bucket and carry it home?

Ortho: Nope. They just said it would be a pity to eat a creature so small and threw it back into the ocean.

Ortho: But they did that after they had finally fished one up! It didn't really make sense to me, so it was hard to understand what I saw.

Jade: If I recall, there is a certain release size criteria that is implemented here on land in order to conserve water resources.

Ortho: Yep. But according to my measurements, that fish was about 5 cm larger than the release criterion.

Ortho: Based on the way that family was talking, once they had caught a fish that was "big," they should have taken it home with them.

Ortho: Even though it was an adult fish adequate for cooking up, they pitied it because it looked too small…

Ortho: No matter how many times I think it over, I can't really understand that mechanism.

Jade: I thought this would be a story where you were moved by their care for a small creature… But instead, I see you were more taken in by their incomprehensible actions.

Ortho: They spent time and energy into trying to fish up that fish, but in the end… I wonder if that sort of illogical action is what makes a human human.

Jade: Perhaps, perhaps not. For that family, it may be that was the most logical choice.

Ortho: Eh, what do you mean?

Jade: If it were a large fish, then the whole family could divide it up and eat it. However, a single, small fish would not nearly be enough.

Jade: In order for everyone in the family to eat their fill, they would need to cook up more dishes to go with it.

Jade: Then, if there were no fish to begin with, they wouldn't have to go through the trouble of making extra dishes… Perhaps that would be a better way to think of it?

Ortho: I see…! If I were to think from the eyes of the person who has to prepare the meal, that decision makes more sense.

Jade: This is only a possible scenario I've come up with… But I only mean it to illustrate that there are many ways to view something.

Ortho: Heh! See, this is why talking with as many different peoples as I can gives me so much new data… Plus, it's really interesting!

Ortho: Thanks a ton for listening, Jade-san. I hope we can chat about other stuff some other time.

Ortho: Okay, time for me to go check out another exhibit. Oh hey, this painting…

Ortho: It depicts the moment when the Son of the God of Thunder and his trainer is talking about his grand dreams.

Ortho: According to the lore, this guy's strength was way off the charts and was invulnerable, but… I bet I could find it.

Ortho: I know I could find a weakness that could bring even a hero like that down.

Requested by Anonymous.

[literatureloverx]

BSD MEN AND MBTI TYPES [+ their darlings]

So, I’m not sure how many are aware of what MBTI is, but I got a few requests on making an analysis about this for BSD MEN and incorporating their ideal type! darlings’ MBTI types as well, so I did. (I kind of promised that I would do it, so now is the time.)❤️

I want you to know, it wasn’t intentional to place one type as the ideal match for multiple characters. I thought it through thoroughly and did my best to remain as logical and diverse in MBTI types as possible. It’s just that strong Fe users are often a good match for broken people and…well…BSD men are mostly broken.

Here is a brief explanation what MBTI and cognitive functions are, for those who are not familiar with it. If you are familiar with it, you can simply skip to the next paragraph under the thinner cut.❤️

Explanation MBTI: The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a tool used to understand different personality types based on how people prefer to interact with the world and make decisions. Created by Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Cook Briggs, it’s based on ideas from Carl Jung about how people think and behave. MBTI types are 16 four-letter combinations such as INFP or ESTP, that are designed with each 4 primary cognitive functions that are being used frequently by each person. There are 8 cognitive functions, and we all use all of them, however, 4 are always the most comfortable and prominent.

Detailed Explanation of Cognitive Functions: Cognitive functions are specific mental processes that shape how we understand and interact with the world. Each function has a particular role and works in conjunction with others to influence personality. Here’s a closer look at each of the eight cognitive functions:

1. Extraverted Sensing (Se): This function involves focusing on the present moment and taking in information through the senses. People who rely on Se are very aware of their surroundings and enjoy engaging with their environment actively. They tend to live in the moment and respond to immediate sensory experiences.

2. Introverted Sensing (Si): Si involves recalling past experiences and using that information to understand the present. People with strong Si focus on details and how things have been done before. They rely on their memories and internal impressions to make sense of the world.

3. Extraverted Intuition (Ne): Ne is about exploring possibilities and seeing connections between different ideas. Those who use Ne are good at brainstorming and considering multiple potential outcomes. They enjoy thinking about future possibilities and spotting patterns that aren’t immediately obvious.

4. Introverted Intuition (Ni): Ni involves forming insights and understanding future implications based on internal reflections. People with dominant Ni often have a clear vision of how things might unfold and focus on long-term outcomes and deep, conceptual understandings.

5. Extraverted Thinking (Te): This function focuses on organizing and structuring the external world based on logic and efficiency. People who use Te prioritize objective criteria and practical solutions, often seeking to improve systems and achieve measurable results.

6. Introverted Thinking (Ti): Ti involves analyzing and refining ideas based on internal logic. Individuals with strong Ti prefer to understand concepts deeply and develop their own internal frameworks for how things should work. They value precision and consistency in their thoughts.

7. Extraverted Feeling (Fe): Fe is concerned with understanding and responding to the emotions and needs of others. People with strong Fe are focused on creating harmony in their social environments and are sensitive to the feelings of those around them. They often work to ensure that everyone’s needs are met and that social interactions are smooth.

8. Introverted Feeling (Fi): Fi involves making decisions based on personal values and internal emotional responses. Those with dominant Fi focus on staying true to their own principles and beliefs. They prioritize authenticity and personal integrity, making choices that align with their internal values.

Each MBTI personality type has a specific hierarchy of these functions. The dominant function is the primary way a person interacts with the world, while the auxiliary function supports it. The tertiary function is less developed, and the inferior function is the least developed and often a source of stress or growth.

FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY

INTJ (The Mastermind/Architect) - Ni > Te > Fi > Se

Fyodor's dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), reveals itself in his visionary, long-term thinking and his deep strategic foresight. Fyodor operates on a plane that transcends the immediate and the obvious.

He sees patterns, connections, and the potential outcomes of his actions far into the future, often perceiving the world in ways that others simply cannot comprehend.

His overarching goal—to cleanse humanity of its sins—demonstrates a profound understanding of abstract concepts and an almost prophetic ability to see beyond the present, traits quintessential to a dominant Ni user.

Next, we have Extroverted Thinking (Te), Fyodor's auxiliary function, which he employs with ruthless efficiency. His actions are driven by a need to impose order and structure on the chaotic world around him, aligning perfectly with Te's desire for effectiveness and productivity.

Fyodor’s methods, while morally ambiguous, are meticulously planned and executed with precision. This function supports his Ni visions, allowing him to implement his grand schemes with logical, calculated steps.

His ability to manipulate people and situations to his advantage is a direct result of Te’s influence, prioritizing objective outcomes over personal feelings.

His tertiary function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), is less overt but still crucial to understanding his character.

While Fyodor presents a cold, calculating exterior, his actions are ultimately guided by an internal value system—no matter how warped it might seem.

Fyodor's Fi manifests in his unwavering belief in his mission and his disdain for those who fail to meet his moral standards. He perceives himself as a savior of humanity, driven by an intrinsic sense of right and wrong that only he truly understands.

This Fi also explains why Fyodor is so selective about who he allows into his inner world. A potential darling, for instance, would need to align with his deeply held values, reinforcing the notion that Fyodor’s emotional connections are reserved for those who resonate with his internal compass.

Lastly, Fyodor’s inferior function, Extroverted Sensing (Se), is the least developed, manifesting in his apparent disconnection from the physical world.

Unlike characters who thrive on sensory experiences, Fyodor often appears aloof and detached from his surroundings. His focus on abstract ideas over tangible realities suggests a discomfort with Se.

He surrounds himself with serene and controlled environments—places where sensory overload is minimized, and he can concentrate on his internal visions. This discomfort with the physical world further isolates him, reinforcing his preference for solitude and reflection.

In conclusion, Fyodor embodies the traits of an INTJ through his dominant Ni, which allows him to see far-reaching possibilities and plan accordingly; his auxiliary Te, which drives his strategic actions and manipulations; his tertiary Fi, which shapes his personal values and judgments; and his inferior Se, which leads to a disconnect from the immediate physical world.

These cognitive functions, taken together, explain his complex and morally ambiguous character, as well as his potential preferences in a partner—someone who would understand and complement his internal world without disrupting the carefully constructed order he seeks to maintain.

His darling: INFP - Fi > Ne > Si > Te

or INFJ - Ni > Fe > Ti > Se

INFP (The Mediator / Idealist):

In the intricate labyrinth of Fyodor’s mind, where Introverted Intuition (Ni) reigns supreme (this sounds so serious lmao), an INFP female darling would offer an unparalleled balance and harmony.

Her dominant function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), would resonate deeply with Fyodor's own Fi, albeit in a more developed and nuanced form.

While Fyodor’s Fi is selective, almost reclusive, it is this very selectiveness that makes an INFP’s Fi the perfect match. She possesses an intrinsic moral compass, one that is authentic and unwavering, but unlike Fyodor’s, it is deeply empathetic.

Her Fi would draw out the softer, more vulnerable aspects of his tertiary Fi, helping to humanize the rigid internal values that guide his every move.

The INFP’s Extroverted Intuition (Ne), her auxiliary function, would offer Fyodor something he might not even realize he craves—a partner who can perceive multiple possibilities and ideas without being constrained by rigid logic or efficiency.

Her Ne would inject a sense of wonder and exploration into Fyodor’s meticulously controlled world. Unlike the ruthless precision of his Te, her Ne is imaginative, often seeing potential in areas Fyodor’s Ni might overlook (seriously, this man would NEVER overlook anything but let’s stick to that for the narrative).

This openness to possibility would challenge Fyodor, gently encouraging him to see beyond his single-minded visions, adding layers of depth to his already profound insights.

Furthermore, the INFP’s Introverted Sensing (Si) as a tertiary function would provide a subtle, yet grounding influence on Fyodor.

While Fyodor’s inferior Se leaves him disconnected from the physical world, the INFP’s Si, though not dominant, would allow her to appreciate the simple, sensory experiences of life.

She could offer Fyodor a gentle introduction to these experiences, helping him connect, even briefly, with the present moment. Her Si would serve as a quiet anchor, providing stability without overwhelming his discomfort with Se.

Lastly, her Extroverted Thinking (Te) as an inferior function would ensure that while she respects Fyodor’s logical and structured approach, she would not challenge his authority or disrupt the order he values so highly. Instead, her Te would emerge in moments when practicality is required, complementing Fyodor’s own Te without competing with it.

This would create a dynamic where she supports his strategies and plans, but with a gentle touch that allows his Te to dominate, thus preserving the balance of power in the relationship.

In conclusion, an INFP female darling would not only complement Fyodor’s complex INTJ personality but would also provide a much-needed counterbalance to his intensity.

Her Fi would resonate with his, but with a warmth and empathy that could soften his cold, calculating exterior. Her Ne would challenge and expand his Ni, offering new perspectives and possibilities.

Her Si would ground him, even if only slightly, in the present moment, while her inferior Te would respect and subtly support his strategic dominance.

Together, they would form a partnership where his visionary goals are met with understanding, warmth, and a touch of whimsy—qualities that, in the end, may be precisely what Fyodor needs, even if he cannot fully articulate it.

INFJ (The Advocate/Counselor):

An INFJ female darling would be the second-best match for Fyodor, harmonizing with his complex, enigmatic nature while still offering a dynamic that enriches his inner world.

As an INFJ, her dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), aligns perfectly with Fyodor's own Ni, creating a profound connection rooted in their shared ability to perceive the world through abstract, visionary lenses.

This mutual understanding of the intangible and the hidden would foster a relationship where both partners feel deeply understood, even in their most esoteric thoughts. Fyodor, who often finds himself isolated in his strategic foresight, would find in the INFJ a partner who not only comprehends but complements his intuitive depth.

Her Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as an auxiliary function introduces a crucial element of emotional intelligence that Fyodor lacks. While Fyodor’s tertiary Introverted Feeling (Fi) shapes his internal value system, it is often cold, detached, and selectively applied.

The INFJ’s Fe, however, is outwardly focused, naturally attuned to the emotions and needs of others. This function would provide Fyodor with a compassionate, empathetic counterpart who can navigate social dynamics and offer a broader perspective on human emotions—something his Te might dismiss as irrelevant.

The INFJ's Fe would soften Fyodor’s rigid moral judgments, gently encouraging him to consider the emotional consequences of his actions, thereby broadening his understanding of the world beyond his own internal values.

Moreover, the INFJ's Introverted Thinking (Ti), her tertiary function, would subtly complement Fyodor's auxiliary Te. While her Ti is less overt, it allows her to engage in deep, reflective thinking, often uncovering logical inconsistencies or hidden truths in complex situations.

Her Ti would not threaten his Te-driven need for control and order but would instead offer a nuanced, thoughtful perspective that Fyodor could appreciate, particularly when his Ni-driven visions require careful refinement.

This quiet analytical ability would appeal to Fyodor's Te, creating moments of intellectual synergy where both can engage in strategic planning and problem-solving.

Lastly, the INFJ's Extroverted Sensing (Se) as an inferior function mirrors Fyodor's own inferior Se, establishing a shared discomfort with the immediate, sensory world.

This mutual weakness might initially seem like a drawback, but it would actually deepen their bond. Both partners would understand and respect each other's preference for controlled, serene environments, where they can retreat from the overwhelming demands of the physical world.

Their shared Se would reinforce their tendency towards introspection and visionary thinking, ensuring that their relationship remains focused on the abstract, the intellectual, and the strategic.

In conclusion, an INFJ female darling offers Fyodor a harmonious blend of shared intuitive depth and complementary emotional intelligence.

Her Ni resonates with his, creating a deep, almost mystical connection, while her Fe introduces warmth and empathy into his otherwise cold, calculated world.

Her Ti supports and refines his Te-driven plans without challenging his authority, and their shared inferior Se creates a mutual understanding of their need for isolation from the sensory overload of the external world.

While an INFP might provide a softer, more whimsical counterbalance, the INFJ offers a partnership rooted in shared vision and mutual understanding, making her the second-best match for Fyodor's complex, INTJ personality.

DAZAI OSAMU

ENTP (The Debater / Visionary) - Ne > Ti > Fe > Si

Dazai’s dominant function, Extraverted Intuition (Ne), reveals itself in his constant exploration of possibilities and his ability to see multiple angles in any situation.

Dazai operates in a world of endless potential, always considering what could be rather than what is. This makes him unpredictable and difficult to pin down, as he is always a step ahead, contemplating outcomes and scenarios that others might overlook.

His strategic brilliance is a direct result of his Ne, allowing him to manipulate events and people with a creativity that is unmatched.

Dazai’s love for chaos and his playful, almost mischievous nature also stem from this dominant function, as he thrives in environments where he can test boundaries and explore new ideas.

Next, we have Introverted Thinking (Ti), Dazai’s auxiliary function, which he uses to analyze situations with a cold, logical precision.

Ti drives Dazai to understand the underlying mechanics of the world around him, breaking down complex problems into their fundamental components. This function is what gives Dazai his sharp, analytical mind, allowing him to devise intricate plans and see through the facades of others.

His Ti also explains his philosophical musings and existential questioning, as he is constantly trying to make sense of the world and his place in it. Despite his often lighthearted demeanor, there is a deeply intellectual side to Dazai that is always at work, dissecting and evaluating everything he encounters.

His tertiary function, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), is less prominent but still plays a crucial role in how Dazai interacts with others. While he often comes across as detached, Dazai is acutely aware of social dynamics and the emotions of those around him.

He uses this awareness to his advantage, charming or manipulating others as the situation requires. Fe allows Dazai to adapt to different social environments effortlessly, making him a social chameleon who can navigate complex interpersonal relationships with ease.

However, this function also reveals a more manipulative side to Dazai, as he tends to use his understanding of emotions not to connect with others, but to influence and control them.

Lastly, Dazai’s inferior function, Introverted Sensing (Si), is the least developed, manifesting in his apparent disconnection from tradition and the past.

Unlike characters who draw strength from their memories or rely on established routines, Dazai is often seen rejecting or ignoring these aspects of life.

His Si deficiency is evident in his restless nature and his constant search for new experiences, as he struggles to find meaning or stability in what has already been.

This disconnect from Si also contributes to his existential despair, as he finds it difficult to ground himself in any lasting sense of identity or purpose.

In conclusion, Dazai embodies the traits of an ENTP through his dominant Ne, which fuels his endless curiosity and strategic foresight; his auxiliary Ti, which sharpens his analytical thinking; his tertiary Fe, which he uses to navigate and manipulate social interactions; and his inferior Si, which leads to a sense of disconnection from tradition and the past.

These cognitive functions, taken together, explain his complex and often contradictory character, as well as his tendency to oscillate between playful banter and deep existential reflection.

His darling: INFJ - Ni > Fe > Ti > Se

Or ENFJ - Fe > Ni > Se > Ti

INFJ (The Advocate/Counselor):

For Dazai, an INFJ female darling would be the ideal match, complementing and balancing his complex, multifaceted ENTP nature.

Dazai’s dominant Extraverted Intuition (Ne) thrives on possibilities, unpredictability, and the exploration of various outcomes, often leading him into chaotic and uncharted territories. An INFJ’s dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), would resonate with Dazai’s Ne, but in a way that brings focus and depth to his endless curiosity.

While Dazai’s Ne scatters in multiple directions, the INFJ’s Ni would help him see the underlying patterns and deeper meaning behind his explorations, guiding his often chaotic energy into more purposeful and profound insights.

Her Ni would provide a sense of direction that Dazai’s Ne sometimes lacks, allowing them to explore the abstract and conceptual together, but with a shared vision rather than aimless wandering.

Her Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as an auxiliary function would offer a crucial emotional anchor for Dazai, whose Extraverted Feeling (Fe), while present, is often used more for manipulation than genuine connection.

The INFJ’s Fe, however, is deeply empathetic, focused on creating harmony and understanding in her relationships. This emotional intelligence would be a soothing balm to Dazai’s restless soul, providing the warmth and connection he often deflects with humor or detachment.

Her Fe would help Dazai engage with his own emotions more honestly, encouraging him to forge deeper, more meaningful relationships rather than merely skimming the surface.

This would be especially significant for Dazai, whose tertiary Fe can sometimes lead him to feel disconnected from others despite his ability to read social dynamics effortlessly.

The INFJ’s Introverted Thinking (Ti), as her tertiary function, would complement Dazai’s auxiliary Ti, creating an intellectual synergy that both would appreciate.

While Dazai uses his Ti to deconstruct the world around him with sharp, analytical precision, the INFJ’s Ti would offer a quieter, more introspective form of analysis.

Her Ti would challenge Dazai’s sometimes impulsive leaps of logic, encouraging him to consider the ethical and philosophical implications of his actions more deeply. Together, their combined Ti would lead to rich, intellectual conversations, where they can explore complex ideas and theories, each offering a perspective that sharpens the other’s understanding.

Lastly, the INFJ’s Extroverted Sensing (Se), though her inferior function, would mirror Dazai’s own inferior Introverted Sensing (Si) in a way that fosters mutual understanding and growth.

Both struggle with staying grounded in the present moment and often feel disconnected from the physical world or their own past.

However, this shared deficiency would allow them to support one another, finding solace in their mutual discomfort.

The INFJ’s Se might encourage Dazai to occasionally step out of his head and experience the world more fully, while Dazai’s Ne could help the INFJ see the potential beyond what is immediately tangible.

Together, they would create a partnership that balances the abstract with the concrete, allowing them to explore both the potential of the future and the reality of the present.

In conclusion, an INFJ female darling would not only complement Dazai’s ENTP nature but also provide the emotional depth, intellectual stimulation, and intuitive insight that he often seeks but struggles to find.

Her Ni would bring focus to his Ne, her Fe would offer genuine emotional connection where his Fe might falter, her Ti would refine his analytical thinking, and their shared challenges with Se and Si would foster a deep understanding of each other’s struggles.

This relationship would offer Dazai a rare blend of intellectual challenge and emotional support, making the INFJ the best possible partner for his complex and often contradictory character.

ENFJ (The Protagonist / Teacher):

An ENFJ female darling would be the second-best match for Dazai Osamu, providing a relationship dynamic that complements and balances his ENTP nature in several key ways.

Dazai’s dominant Extraverted Intuition (Ne) fuels his exploration of possibilities and his knack for seeing multiple angles of any situation. An ENFJ’s dominant Extraverted Feeling (Fe) would harmonize with Dazai’s Ne, but in a manner that emphasizes emotional connection and social harmony.

The ENFJ’s Fe is adept at understanding and influencing others’ emotions, which would provide Dazai with a stabilizing force, guiding his often chaotic and unpredictable Ne through a lens of empathy and relational awareness. Her Fe would help Dazai see beyond his own intellectual pursuits and appreciate the emotional impact of his actions on those around him.

The ENFJ’s Introverted Intuition (Ni) as her auxiliary function complements Dazai’s Ne by providing depth and focus to their shared explorations.

While Dazai’s Ne leads him to constantly generate new ideas and scenarios, the ENFJ’s Ni would help in distilling these possibilities into a coherent vision. This alignment between Ne and Ni would create a synergy where their ideas are not just imaginative but also strategically meaningful.

The ENFJ’s Extraverted Sensing (Se) as her tertiary function brings a practical, immediate awareness that contrasts with Dazai’s own inferior Introverted Sensing (Si).

While Dazai often struggles with connecting to the present moment and the sensory details of life, the ENFJ’s Se would offer a grounding influence.

Her ability to engage with the external environment would provide a counterbalance to Dazai’s tendency to overlook sensory experiences and tradition. This could help Dazai become more attuned to the here-and-now, enriching his experiences and providing a more balanced perspective on life.

Finally, the ENFJ’s Introverted Thinking (Ti), her inferior function, would offer a unique intellectual counterpoint to Dazai’s dominant Ti.

While Dazai’s Ti is sharp and analytical, often used to dissect and strategize, the ENFJ’s Ti, though less developed, would bring a different flavor of logical analysis.

Her Ti would provide a thoughtful, albeit less dominant, approach to problem-solving, complementing Dazai’s more assertive analytical style. This could lead to rich, nuanced discussions where her perspective enhances his own.

In summary, an ENFJ darling would offer Dazai a blend of emotional depth, strategic insight, and practical grounding.

Her dominant Fe would foster genuine emotional connections and help Dazai consider the social and emotional ramifications of his actions.

Her Ni would add depth and direction to his Ne-driven explorations, making their intellectual pursuits more coherent.

Her Se would ground him in the present, counterbalancing his detachment from sensory experiences, while her Ti would complement and refine his analytical approaches.

Together, they would form a partnership where Dazai’s intellectual brilliance is balanced by the ENFJ’s warmth, vision, and practical insight, making her an excellent second-best match for his dynamic ENTP personality.

In conclusion, an INFJ would offer Dazai deep emotional understanding and intuitive focus, complementing his Ne with depth and introspection.

In contrast, an ENFJ would provide vibrant emotional support and practical grounding, balancing his Ne with empathy and vision while offering immediate sensory awareness.

Both types would enrich Dazai’s life, with the INFJ providing profound, intuitive insight and the ENFJ offering dynamic emotional connection and practical stability.

NAKAHARA CHUUYA

ESTP ( The Entrepreneur / Dynamo) - Se > Ti > Fe > Ni

Chuuya is a character who clearly exemplifies the ESTP personality type. His energetic demeanor, tactical mindset, and grounded approach to life can be understood through the lens of this personality type, revealing a man who thrives on action, pragmatic problem-solving, and sensory experiences.

At the forefront of Chuuya’s character is his dominant function, Extraverted Sensing (Se). This function drives Chuuya’s immediate, action-oriented approach to life. He is intensely aware of his surroundings, reacting quickly to changes and seizing opportunities as they arise.

Chuuya’s preference for hands-on engagement and his readiness to dive into action reflect his high Se, which is evident in his frequent physical confrontations and his ability to handle high-pressure situations with remarkable composure.

His keen sense of fashion is also a manifestation of his Se—his attention to stylish, elegant attire and personal presentation highlights his acute awareness of his environment and his desire to make a tangible impact on those around him.

This focus on immediate, sensory experiences underscores his reliance on Se, making him a master of adapting to and manipulating his environment in real-time.

Next is Introverted Thinking (Ti), Chuuya’s auxiliary function, which supports his strategic prowess and decision-making. While Chuuya is often seen as impulsive and driven by immediate sensations, his actions are underpinned by a logical framework that guides his responses and strategies.

His Ti helps him analyze situations with a critical eye, allowing him to understand and exploit the underlying mechanics of conflicts and challenges. This function contributes to his ability to think on his feet and devise practical solutions to complex problems, aligning with his reputation as a formidable tactician within the Port Mafia.

Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Chuuya’s tertiary function, reveals itself in his interactions with others and his capacity for emotional expression.

While Chuuya may come across as brash and direct, his Fe is evident in his concern for his allies and his desire for harmony within his sphere of influence.

His loyalty and protective nature, particularly toward those he values, highlight his underlying emotional sensitivity and his need to maintain social cohesion.

Although he may not always express his feelings openly, his actions often reflect a deep-seated desire to connect with and support those he cares about, indicating that his Fe is engaged in maintaining relationships and managing social dynamics.

Finally, Chuuya’s inferior function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), is the least developed and manifests as a disinterest or discomfort with long-term planning and abstract conceptualization.

Unlike characters who are comfortable envisioning future possibilities and intricate schemes, Chuuya is more focused on the present moment and immediate concerns.

His actions and decisions are primarily driven by the current situation rather than long-term projections, suggesting that he is less inclined to engage in deep, abstract thinking.

This disconnection from Ni is reflected in his preference for direct action over speculative or future-oriented planning.

In conclusion, Chuuya embodies the ESTP personality through his dominant Se, which drives his action-oriented and sensory-focused approach, including his keen sense of fashion; his auxiliary Ti, which supports his tactical thinking and problem-solving; his tertiary Fe, which influences his emotional interactions and loyalty; and his inferior Ni, which leads to a preference for present-focused, pragmatic decisions.

His darling: ISFJ - Si > Fe > Ti > Ne

Or ESFJ - Fe > Si > Ne >Ti

ISFJ (The Protector / Defender)

An ISFJ female darling would be the ideal match for Chuuya Nakahara, providing a harmonious balance to his dynamic ESTP personality. Her dominant Introverted Sensing (Si) would offer the grounding and stability that Chuuya, with his action-oriented and spontaneous approach to life, often lacks.

Her strong connection to tradition and the past would provide a comforting anchor for Chuuya, helping him appreciate consistency and reliability, which are sometimes overlooked in his pursuit of immediate, sensory experiences.

The ISFJ’s Extraverted Feeling (Fe) would perfectly complement Chuuya’s tertiary Fe, creating a nurturing and emotionally supportive relationship.

While Chuuya’s Fe drives him to protect and connect with those he cares about, her more developed Fe would bring warmth, compassion, and an understanding of social dynamics that could soften Chuuya’s rougher edges.

Her natural ability to maintain harmony and cater to the emotional needs of others would resonate with Chuuya’s loyalty and protectiveness, fostering a deep emotional bond based on mutual care and respect.

Her Introverted Thinking (Ti), though secondary to her Si and Fe, would align well with Chuuya’s auxiliary Ti. Both would appreciate each other’s logical approach to problem-solving and decision-making.

Her Ti would offer a calm, methodical perspective that could help Chuuya refine his strategies and think through the consequences of his actions more thoroughly, especially in situations where his impulsive nature might otherwise lead him astray.

Lastly, the ISFJ’s Extraverted Intuition (Ne), as her inferior function, would introduce a subtle yet valuable element of novelty and open-mindedness into the relationship. While her Ne is less dominant, it would still encourage Chuuya to occasionally consider new possibilities and explore ideas beyond his immediate focus.

This would add a refreshing dynamic to their relationship, allowing them to grow together as they explore new experiences within the safety and security of their shared bond.

In conclusion, an ISFJ female darling would provide Chuuya with the stability, emotional support, and subtle encouragement he needs to thrive both personally and within his intense lifestyle. Her grounding Si, nurturing Fe, logical Ti, and adaptable Ne would create a balanced and fulfilling relationship, making her the best match for Chuuya’s ESTP personality.

ESFJ (The Provider / Consul)

An ESFJ female darling would be an excellent second option for Chuuya Nakahara, offering a complementary dynamic to his ESTP personality. Her dominant Extraverted Feeling (Fe) would naturally resonate with Chuuya’s own Fe, albeit at a more developed level, creating a relationship built on mutual emotional understanding and a strong sense of loyalty.

While Chuuya’s Fe drives him to protect and maintain harmony within his circle, her Fe would bring an even deeper focus on fostering social connections and ensuring that the emotional needs of those around them are met.

This shared focus on relationships would strengthen their bond and make them a formidable team when it comes to navigating the social complexities of their world.

The ESFJ’s Introverted Sensing (Si), as her auxiliary function, would offer Chuuya the stability and groundedness he sometimes lacks in his spontaneous and action-driven approach to life.

Her strong connection to tradition and the past would provide a comforting and steady influence, helping Chuuya to appreciate the value of consistency and reliability in both his personal life and his role within the Port Mafia.

This would be especially valuable in moments when Chuuya’s dominant Se might lead him to prioritize the thrill of the present over long-term stability.

Her tertiary Extraverted Intuition (Ne) would also introduce a subtle, yet important element of adaptability and creativity into their relationship.

While Chuuya’s focus is often on the immediate and concrete, her Ne would encourage him to explore new ideas and possibilities, adding a layer of flexibility and innovation to their partnership.

This could help Chuuya think beyond the immediate and consider different perspectives, which could be particularly useful in his tactical decision-making.

Finally, the ESFJ’s Introverted Thinking (Ti), though less developed, would complement Chuuya’s auxiliary Ti by providing a more structured and methodical approach to problem-solving.

Her Ti would help balance Chuuya’s sometimes impulsive decision-making, encouraging him to consider the logical implications of his actions in a more deliberate manner.

In summary, an ESFJ female darling would be a wonderful partner for Chuuya, offering emotional depth, stability, and a complementary approach to both their social and practical lives.

Her Fe and Si would harmonize well with Chuuya’s own functions, while her Ne and Ti would provide subtle but important enhancements to their relationship, making her an excellent second-best option for Chuuya’s ESTP personality.

NIKOLAI GOGOL

ENTP (The Debater / Visionary) - Ne > Ti > Fe > Si

This one was hard, he is not easy to type. I considered ENFP < ESFP and < ENTP. I ended up picking ENTP for him.

Extraverted Intuition (Ne), the ENTP's dominant function, manifests vividly in Nikolai's boundless exploration of ideas and possibilities. His constant drive to test boundaries and challenge conventional norms speaks to an ENTP's relentless pursuit of novel experiences and understanding.

Nikolai’s actions, driven by a desire to prove his liberation from emotional constraints, are classic Ne — his approach to life is experimental and driven by a fascination with the abstract and unconventional.

His decision to engage in morally questionable acts to demonstrate his freedom from human limitations further illustrates his inclination toward exploring and expanding his conceptual horizons, a hallmark of Ne’s propensity for envisioning endless possibilities.

Introverted Thinking (Ti), the auxiliary function of an ENTP, underpins Nikolai’s strategic and analytical nature. Despite his apparent recklessness, Nikolai's actions are meticulously calculated to achieve his goal of emotional and psychological transcendence.

His ability to analyze and deconstruct situations logically, while crafting elaborate plans to prove his independence from societal norms, underscores the role of Ti. This function supports his propensity for complex problem-solving and his knack for understanding the underlying principles of his actions, even if those principles involve pushing ethical boundaries.

Extraverted Feeling (Fe), as the tertiary function, reflects Nikolai’s awareness of social dynamics and his manipulation of them to serve his ends. While Nikolai exhibits a certain detachment from the emotional impact of his actions, his awareness of and strategic use of social interactions are indicative of Fe.

He navigates social contexts with a calculated precision, aiming to influence and manipulate perceptions to align with his personal ideals. This function reveals his skill in using emotional insights to further his agenda, even as he maintains an outward appearance of detachment.

Introverted Sensing (Si), the inferior function, highlights Nikolai's lesser focus on detailed past experiences and established conventions. ENTPs typically exhibit a less pronounced interest in the specifics of past experiences, preferring instead to innovate and explore new possibilities.

Nikolai’s disregard for the emotional weight of his actions and his preference for forward-thinking experimentation over reflective consideration of past experiences align with Si’s inferior role. His approach to life is characterized by a focus on present and future possibilities rather than a detailed engagement with past experiences.

In summary, Nikolai Gogol embodies the ENTP personality type through his dominant Ne, which drives his exploration of unconventional ideas and possibilities; his auxiliary Ti, which supports his strategic and analytical thinking; his tertiary Fe, which influences his social manipulation and awareness; and his inferior Si, which reflects his limited focus on past details and experiences.

His darling: ENFJ (Fe>Ni>Se>Ti)

Or ESFJ (Fe>Si>Ne>Ti)

ENFJ (The Protagonist / Teacher):

An ENFJ female darling would be the ideal match for Nikolai Gogol, perfectly complementing and balancing his ENTP personality with her emotional intelligence, visionary thinking, and ability to bring out the best in others.

Her dominant Extraverted Feeling (Fe) would be crucial in connecting with Nikolai on an emotional level, something he often neglects due to his detached and experimental approach to life.

Her natural empathy and understanding of social dynamics would allow her to navigate Nikolai’s complex personality, helping him engage with the emotional consequences of his actions and bringing a sense of humanity to his otherwise abstract pursuits.

Her Introverted Intuition (Ni) would align beautifully with Nikolai’s dominant Ne, providing a sense of shared vision and purpose. While Nikolai is constantly exploring new possibilities and pushing boundaries, the ENFJ’s Ni would offer a deeper, more focused perspective, helping him to see the long-term implications of his actions and to channel his boundless creativity towards meaningful goals. This partnership would enable Nikolai to balance his constant experimentation with a more grounded and purposeful approach to life.

The ENFJ’s Extraverted Sensing (Se), as her tertiary function, would complement Nikolai’s auxiliary Ti by helping him stay connected to the present moment and the tangible world around him.

While he is often caught up in abstract ideas and strategic thinking, her Se would encourage him to appreciate the immediate beauty of life, grounding his experiences in reality. This would help Nikolai to not only plan and theorize but also to enjoy and engage with the present in a more sensory, fulfilling way.

Finally, the ENFJ’s Introverted Thinking (Ti), though less developed, would still offer a subtle, logical structure that could help Nikolai refine his thoughts and ideas.

Her Ti would gently support his complex problem-solving processes, ensuring that his plans and strategies are both emotionally and logically sound. This balance would help Nikolai avoid the potential pitfalls of over-theorizing or becoming too detached from reality, giving him a well-rounded perspective on life.

In summary, an ENFJ female darling would provide the emotional depth, visionary focus, and practical grounding that Nikolai needs to thrive.

Her Fe would connect with him on an emotional level, her Ni would align with his visionary thinking, her Se would help him stay grounded in the present, and her Ti would offer subtle logical support. Together, these qualities would make her the best possible match for Nikolai, bringing out the best in his complex, ENTP personality.

ESFJ ( The Provider / Consul):

An ESFJ female darling would be an excellent second-best match for Nikolai Gogol, offering a grounding and nurturing presence that complements his ENTP personality. Her dominant Extraverted Feeling (Fe) would provide the strong emotional connection that Nikolai often overlooks in his pursuit of abstract ideas and unconventional experiences. Her natural empathy and desire to maintain harmony in relationships would help balance Nikolai’s more detached and experimental tendencies, encouraging him to consider the emotional impact of his actions on those around him.

The ESFJ’s Introverted Sensing (Si), as her auxiliary function, would contrast with Nikolai’s inferior Si, helping him to connect with and appreciate the past and established traditions. While Nikolai is constantly focused on exploring new possibilities and pushing boundaries, her Si would offer him a sense of continuity and stability. She could help him ground his ideas in reality by drawing on past experiences and proven methods, ensuring that his innovative approaches are not only creative but also practical and effective.

Her Extraverted Intuition (Ne), as a tertiary function, would resonate with Nikolai’s dominant Ne, creating a shared enthusiasm for exploring possibilities and generating new ideas. While her Ne is less dominant, it would still enable her to understand and engage with Nikolai’s creative mind, supporting his need for intellectual stimulation and novel experiences. This alignment would allow them to enjoy dynamic and adventurous conversations, keeping their relationship intellectually vibrant.

Finally, the ESFJ’s Introverted Thinking (Ti), though her inferior function, would offer a subtle but important balance to Nikolai’s strong Ti. Her Ti would help her understand and appreciate the logical structure of Nikolai’s thoughts, even if she doesn’t naturally prioritize logic in the same way. This would allow her to support his analytical processes while still bringing a more compassionate and emotionally aware perspective to their interactions.

In summary, an ESFJ female darling would bring emotional warmth, stability, and a shared enthusiasm for new experiences to Nikolai’s life. Her Fe would nurture and balance his more detached tendencies, her Si would ground his ideas in reality, her Ne would complement his creative exploration, and her Ti would offer subtle logical support.

These qualities make her a strong second-best match for Nikolai, helping him to connect more deeply with others while still enjoying the intellectual and creative stimulation he craves.

AKUTAGAWA RYUUNOSUKE

ISFP (The Adventurer / Composer ) - Fi > Se > Ni > Te

Akutagawa's dominant function, Introverted Feeling (Fi), reveals itself in his deeply personal sense of morality and the intense emotions that drive his actions. Although Akutagawa often appears cold and ruthless, his actions are motivated by a strong internal value system that he seldom reveals to others.

His need for validation, particularly from Dazai, is rooted in a profound sense of inadequacy and a desperate desire to prove his worth. This internal emotional landscape, characterized by Fi, defines Akutagawa’s motivations and underlies his quest for recognition, even as he grapples with feelings of rejection and worthlessness.

Next, we have Extraverted Sensing (Se), Akutagawa’s auxiliary function, which manifests in his acute awareness of his physical surroundings and his reactive combat style. Akutagawa thrives in high-pressure situations, where his ability, Rashomon, is wielded with precision and adaptability.

His Se drives him to engage with the world directly and immediately, making him a formidable force in battle. This function supports his Fi by allowing him to take swift and decisive action in pursuit of his personal goals, often leading to intense and violent encounters that are driven by his emotional undercurrents.

His tertiary function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), plays a subtler but significant role in his character. While Akutagawa is primarily focused on the present, there is a persistent sense of future orientation in his actions.

His Ni is evident in his long-term goal of gaining Dazai’s approval and the way he internalizes past experiences to guide his decisions. This function supports his Fi by giving him a sense of purpose and direction, even if it is often clouded by his immediate emotional responses.

Akutagawa’s Ni also manifests in his ability to foresee the consequences of his actions, though this is often secondary to his more dominant functions.

Lastly, Akutagawa’s inferior function, Extraverted Thinking (Te), is the least developed and manifests in his occasional struggle with logical organization and external structure. While Akutagawa can be strategic and methodical in battle, his approach is more often driven by his emotions and immediate sensory inputs rather than a clear, logical framework.

His Te surfaces when he attempts to impose order or efficiency in his environment, but these efforts are often overshadowed by his more dominant Fi and Se functions.

This inferior Te contributes to his difficulties in aligning his internal values with the external world, leading to a sense of frustration and conflict when his actions fail to achieve the desired results.

In conclusion, Akutagawa embodies the traits of an ISFP through his dominant Fi, which drives his intense emotional core and need for validation; his auxiliary Se, which fuels his reactive and physically engaging combat style; his tertiary Ni, which provides a sense of direction and future orientation; and his inferior Te, which occasionally struggles to impose order on his chaotic inner world.

His darling: ISFJ - Si > Fe > Ti > Ne

Or ENFJ - Fe > Si > Ne > Ti

ISFJ - (The Protector / Defender)

An ISFJ female darling would be the ideal match for Akutagawa, providing the stability, care, and emotional grounding that his turbulent ISFP personality craves.

Her dominant Introverted Sensing (Si) would offer Akutagawa a sense of continuity and reliability, something he deeply lacks in his chaotic life. Her ability to recall and value the past would help him feel anchored, offering him a safe emotional space where he can reflect on his experiences without feeling judged or misunderstood.

This grounding presence would counterbalance his reactive and intense Extraverted Sensing (Se), allowing him to find solace in a more structured, stable environment.

The ISFJ’s Extraverted Feeling (Fe) would complement Akutagawa’s deeply personal Introverted Feeling (Fi) by helping him navigate his emotions in a more outward, constructive manner. Her natural empathy and concern for others would provide him with the validation and understanding he seeks but often feels he doesn’t deserve.

Through her Fe, she would help Akutagawa express his feelings in a way that fosters connection rather than isolation, gradually teaching him that he is valued for who he is, not just for his abilities or his success in battle.

Her Introverted Thinking (Ti), while not as prominent, would provide a quiet, logical framework that could help Akutagawa make sense of his internal conflicts.

This function would assist in gently guiding him toward clearer, more structured thinking without overwhelming his emotional processes. Her Ti would act as a subtle but important counterbalance to his chaotic internal world, offering a perspective that is both patient and rational, helping him organize his thoughts and decisions more effectively.

Lastly, the ISFJ’s Extraverted Intuition (Ne), as her inferior function, would resonate with Akutagawa’s Introverted Intuition (Ni), fostering a mutual understanding of future possibilities and deeper meanings.

While her Ne is less developed, it would still complement his Ni by encouraging him to consider alternative perspectives and outcomes, subtly broadening his view without destabilizing his primary focus.

In summary, an ISFJ female darling would bring the stability, emotional support, and gentle guidance that Akutagawa desperately needs.

Her Si would provide grounding, her Fe would offer emotional understanding, her Ti would introduce subtle logic, and her Ne would complement his intuitive insights.

Together, these qualities would help Akutagawa find the balance and emotional connection he craves, making her the best possible match for him.

ENFJ (The Protagonist / Teacher):

An ENFJ female darling would be the second-best match for Akutagawa, offering him the emotional guidance and supportive leadership that could help him grow beyond his inner turmoil.

Her dominant Extraverted Feeling (Fe) would provide a nurturing and empathetic environment, allowing Akutagawa to feel understood and valued.

Her ability to connect with others on an emotional level would help him open up and express his feelings, easing his deep-seated need for validation and helping him navigate his intense Introverted Feeling (Fi) with more clarity and compassion.

The ENFJ’s Introverted Intuition (Ni) would align with Akutagawa’s own Ni, fostering a shared sense of purpose and vision. Her ability to see the bigger picture and understand the deeper implications of their actions would resonate with his need for meaning and direction.

This connection would help him focus his energy and emotions on long-term goals, providing a sense of purpose that extends beyond his immediate struggles.

Her Extraverted Sensing (Se), as her tertiary function, would complement Akutagawa’s auxiliary Se, encouraging him to engage more fully with the present moment.

While her Se is not as dominant, it would still offer a playful and dynamic energy that could help Akutagawa enjoy life’s experiences more openly and with less fear.

This would balance his sometimes overwhelming focus on immediate, intense sensory inputs, helping him approach situations with a bit more lightness and adaptability.

Lastly, the ENFJ’s Introverted Thinking (Ti), as her inferior function, would provide a subtle but important balance to Akutagawa’s chaotic internal world.

Though not her strongest function, her Ti would still offer a logical framework that could help him analyze situations more objectively. This would aid in softening the extremes of his Fi and Se, guiding him toward more balanced and thoughtful decision-making.

In summary, an ENFJ female darling would bring emotional warmth, shared vision, and a supportive, structured approach to Akutagawa’s life.

Her Fe would help him connect and express his emotions, her Ni would align with his sense of purpose, her Se would complement his present-focused intensity, and her Ti would offer subtle logical support.

Together, these qualities would help Akutagawa find emotional balance and a sense of belonging, making her an excellent match for him.

[alternate-real-ities]

Hey man! Love what you've got going on with your blog and helping people out! Would love to see what else is out there for me, love a good race tf personally!

- TF Lover

Hey there! Thanks so much for your kind words about my blog and the unique content I share. I'm always happy to help spark people's imaginations!

As you know, my current setup relies on peering into alternate realities via this custom-built multiverse gazing machine (which is a long story!). While full transformations aren't yet possible with my current tech, I've been able to capture some fascinating versions of yourself from other dimensions. Here are three such glimpses:

First up, meet yourself as a young Indian man from another reality.

In this version of yourself, you are a skinny and nerdy-looking young man in your early 20s. You have long dark hair, bright brown eyes framed by thick glasses, and your face sports quite a bit of facial hair that you trim to look tidy.

You work as a software engineer at a large tech company in the heart of Silicon Valley making the big money. When you're not coding away, you love to play video games at home in your pajamas and eat junk food while binge-watching anime series.

-

Next up, meet your Japanese popstar doppelganger:

In this reality you're dressed to impress in a tailored ensemble that accentuates every sculpted muscle beneath. Your brownish hair is perfectly coiffed, contrasting with porcelain skin and dark piercing eyes. The confident smirk that usually plays on your lips suggests you know exactly how captivating you look.

Under the glare of the lights, every inch of your lean physique seems to shimmer with an otherworldly allure. Your jeans hug the swell of your ass as you move fluidly across the stage, commanding the audience's attention with every sway and thrust. The energy is electric - you can almost hear the collective sighs of adoration from the crowd!

-

Finally, across yet another dimensional divide, we can find yourself tapping into your nordic roots:

In this reality, you exude a quiet confidence that commands respect. Your piercing blue eyes seem to bore into everything you look at, and that strong jawline is accentuated by a neatly trimmed beard. The way your body fill out your clothes makes other people wonder what other assets lie beneath...

Beneath that buttoned-up exterior lies a beast waiting to be unleashed - a physique sculpted through grueling gym sessions, where muscles ripple and flex as you pour sweat. Just imagine the raw power coiled within those piercing blue eyes...

-

These glimpses offer just a taste of the incredible diversity possible across the multiverse. Who knows what other versions of yourself await discovery? As I work on my timeline converger, maybe one day I'll be able to share the gift of full transformations with you and others. Until then, I hope these alternate realities inspire you into achieving the best of you!

[another-goblin]

Chaos vs. Order in the world of HSR: an incoherent rambling.

Spoilers for the Unknowable Domain.

Speaking of Aventurine and Dr. Ratio, if you asked me before which side of the dichotomy of Order and Chaos they represent, I wouldn't hesitate. Of course a reasonable and methodical scientist represents Order, and an unpredictable gambler represents Chaos (Ratio even called him "a system of chaos devoid of logic"). Until I saw this.

It got me thinking. Yes, gambling is all about chance. Unless you are supernaturally lucky and you always know that the coin will land to your benefit, following the predetermioned Order.

Compare Aventurine's "No reason to choose otherwise, and no other choice" (everthing's predetermined; you can't change it; don't even try) to Ratio's "Chose your own path" (I think this phrase might be more important for Ratio as a character than we think. He said it twice. It's not just about choosing a playable path, like our Traleblazer does, but ultimately about Free Will. The chaotic unpredictability of an individual freely choosing their actions. Can it be one of the reasons why he wasn't chosen by Nous? Nous who's all about predicting and calculating the future, which is the opposite of the notion of free will?)

It seems like Aventurine long gave up the idea of having agency; he sees himself as "a cog in the machine known as the IPC's Strategic Investment Department". With his "Good luck makes one powerful, but destiny? Inherently unjust" and "Go ahead, use me as you wish". He basically sees himself as a slave to his supernatural gift and his predetermined destiny. Compare to Ratio's "about Aventurine" voiceline: "we can't chalk it all up to "good luck". Meaning, it's not just your luck; give yourself some credit for your achievements; you can change things.

Even their banner's names show the difference of their worldviews in terms of free will and determinism: Aventurine's "Gilded Imprisonment" vs. Ratio's "Panta Rhei" (which can be translated as "everything changes").

Aventurine considers his supernatural luck a gift from Gaiathra Triclops, who's theorized to actually be Ena the Order, which makes even more sense from this order/chaos point of view.

Aventurine probably knew that his path on Penacony led him towards inevitable death. "No reason to choose otherwise, and no other choice." What saved him in the end? It was two people: Mr. Chaotic himself, Veritas "Choose your own path" Ratio, and Acheron. I don't know where IX stands in this dichotomy of Chaos and Order. Probably nowhere. But if I were to choose, I'd say they lean towards Order. Or rather against the free will of Chaos. "Yes, you can do whatever you want, but why would you if it all is unlimately meaningless". But IX's factions are kind of opposed to them, so I'm curious what Acheron's personal opinion is on this.

Speaking of IX's factions opposing them, the "Dr. Ratio is a Doctor of Chaos" theory has never been so strong!

And what was our major encounter with the Order as an ingame Path? It was the Perfect Dream created by Sunday, where everybody's living their perfect lives, unwilling and unable to change it. Btw, who was one of the first people who woke up from this Dream?

Sunday and Robin also represent the opposites. Unlike her brother, devoted to Order, Robin, representing "Chaos", respects the diverse individuals as a part of a harmonious choir.

BTW, off topic but where else could I have seen a short message containing both good luck wishes and "Death" in quotation marks? Coiucidence? (yes)

Moreover *inhales*

It's interesting to look at Aeons and their major factions through the lens of the confrontation between Chaos and Order (not Ena the Order but Order in an abstact way).

Which can be understood in different ways. Free will vs. prophecy. Choosing your own path vs. calculating the future. Destruction vs. Finality. Personal strife vs. organized Preservation. Individuality vs. Harmony.

Speaking of which, we can kind of sort some of the Aeons and major factions into two opposing camps.

Who would be on the "Order" side?

Nous who can predict (and thus predetermine) the future through their calculation.

Preservation, who's main faction, the IPC, calculates planets' chances of survival in percents and who opposes Nanook (who else does that? Svarog, a super intelligent machine himself, who's later thwarted by the "unknown variable" - our Trailblazer, who only possessed the power of Destrustion at the time).

Stellaron Hunters, led by a person who's known as Destiny's Slave and can predict the future, also oppose Nanook.

Hunt, who's main faction, Xianzhou, is led by people like Jing Yuan, "The Divine Foresight" (who's so smart that it seems like he can predict the future), or Fu Xuan, whose actual ability to predict the future comes from Nous. They also oppose Nanook.

And of course Terminus the Finality, who travels backwards in time and is all about predicting the future, symbolizes the inavitable end of all things. 

And on the side, representing Chaos, we have, for example:

Nanook, whose path, the Destruction, seems kind of similar to Finality but actually somehow the opposite of it.

Mythos, who "strives to challenge the certainty of Nous the Erudition".

And of course, Akivili the Trailblaze, representing the ultimate freedom to go wherever you want, to "choose your own path", if you will.

So it all kind of boils down to Destrucion vs Finality at the end. It's interesting that at the moment we are expected to see Nanook as a "bad guy", as we ally with more factions opposed to them. Although I'm sure actually it's more complicated and messy than that. 

For example, from Data Bank on Akivili: "There are three directions on the compass of destiny — the Unknown, the Known, and the Unknowable. THEY can tolerate the Unknown, but will never bow to the Unknowable". How does it factor into all this Knowable/Unknowable Domain stuff and reaching outside the Circle of Knowladge? 

BTW I actually have only a very vague idea of the game's deep lore at best, and I also understood like maybe 20% of what happened in the Unknowable Domain, to take it all with a grain of salt.

But what I actually wanted to say is: continue, HSR, I'm listening.

[scribblingapparition]

El Dios de la Brisa (K'uk'ulkan x reader) (1)

Summary: You are a passionate Marine Biologist who has lived in the Yucatan Peninsula for some time now. An accepted and welcomed member of the local village, you've been working through the heartache of losing your mentor and friend. You were not prepared for how your life would change and the discoveries you would make.

[Word count: 5,654]

. . .

There were many aspects of your profession that you adored. 

You loved the time you spent doing fieldwork, gathering information about the diverse wildlife that inhabited the oceans and letting hours pass you by while you swim among them. You loved aiding in the restoration of habitats and looking at problems from all the different perspectives brilliant minds brought to the table to find solutions. You adored rehabilitating injured animals and felt a great sense of accomplishment and pride each time you released an animal back into the water where it belonged.

All of that is your driving force behind wanting to make a difference and take responsibility for the planet we all share and have to take care of.

There were threats to that passion.

Phone calls.

“The funding that your mentor left you won’t last an eternity. Listen, I know you are grieving her loss. We all are. But you need to stop finding excuses to push aside the real work that needs to be done elsewhere. Your technique of lab grown coral has completely revived the coral reefs in Culebra. You really impressed everyone in Puerto Rico with that. We need you here.” Enrique sighed, you could hear him shuffling papers as he spoke. “You’ve taken all her things back to her family and gotten a look at what she was working on in Yucatán. It’s time to move on.”

“It’s really nice of you to call in every week to repeat the same thing. Really keeps the conversation interesting.”

“You always have to take things the wrong way.”

“I’m not taking anything any sort of way. I’ve already told you, there’s something interesting here that’s got my attention and I have no intention of leaving until I’ve understood as much as I can. Funding or not, I’ll figure it out. I always do. Like I did before her, alright? So, thank you for the call but I don’t need you worrying about me. You or anyone.” 

You didn’t enjoy being the sort of person that spoke to others like that but it’s what they brought out of you. You came from nothing and you had no one. Everything you had ever earned in your life you achieved through hard work and perseverance. You put yourself through school, through college, and with no help from anyone you managed to be taken under the wing of one of the world’s most brilliant marine biologists: Altagracia Alvarez-Delgado. 

Paralleled stories and a common goal had united the two of you and together a real change happened in the world of ocean conversation. Your mentor had a way of inspiring crowds with her mastery in storytelling and she could create empathy in the hearts of others that got them to care – to truly want to join the cause of being responsible, intelligent, beings that could change the planet for the better. For everyone. 

You had never admired anyone more. You never took a moment for granted, you never took her advice for granted, and you never took the many lessons you learned through her grace and humility for granted. You don’t experience loss when you don’t have anyone; her unexpected death sent you through a downward spiral you could not have predicted. It was in her honor that you traveled to her village to deliver the news of her passing and the last of her belongings. Her family had welcomed you, encouraged you to take up residence in her old cabin across the bay from the pyramid and gave you advice on how to find peace and comfort when you felt like you would never have it again.

It had never been in your plans to stay.

Now you couldn’t seem to leave.

You were naturally a curious person, always were. The draw to the sea called out to you like the hypnotizing melodies of a siren song. It didn’t matter if you never truly had a home because as long as you were by the ocean and allowed to get lost underneath its waves you would feel at home. There was something about the bay that called out to a part of you that was in tune enough to listen.

The first couple of months of living among the villagers you had taken to conduct undisturbed research of the area. Multiple times a day, Ines Delgado (your mentor’s mother), would spot your pack resting in the same place it always was in the shore line while you dove to the depths with your gear to spend time around the reefs and exploring the extensive cave systems. Each time you shared your discoveries with her over coffee. 

There is one thing you could not get over.

“Ines, sinceramente, he viajado por el mundo y he visto todo tipo de ecosistemas y hábitats. Con la forma que están los océanos ahora, muchos de ellos están en diferentes estados de sufrimiento, pero estos…los que veo aquí son casi perfectos.” You had told her both in a state of disbelief and admiration, knowing that whatever your mentor had started here was working incredibly well. “Lo que su hija ha comenzado aquí es brillante. Ella es brillante.”

(Ines, sincerely, I have traveled around the world and I have seen all types of ecosystems and habitats. With the way the oceans are now, a lot of the ones I have seen have been in different states of suffering, but these…the ones I have seen here are almost perfect. What your daughter started here is brilliant. She is brilliant.)

Shaking her head, her hands trembled slightly due to her age as she brought the cup to her lips to drink. “Es la protección de el que la ha guardado.”

(It is all due to his protection, that has kept it safe.)

“Quien es el?”

(Who is he?)

“K'uk'ulkan. La serpiente emplumada existe. Lo he visto. Inspiro miedo en mi, cuando lo vi. Estaba vestido en trueno y oro, plumas y perlas. Alas en sus pies y rabia en sus ojos. Espero que nunca lo tenga que ver otra vez. Mi niña, tienes que tener cuidado por dónde exploras cuando estás debajo de esas olas. Rara vez estás sola. Nada existe en el océano que la serpiente no permita.”

(K'uk'ulkan. The feathered serpent exists. I’ve seen him. He inspired fear in me, when I saw him. He was dressed in thunder and gold, feathers and pearls. With wings on his feet and rage in his eyes. I hope to never have to see him again. My girl, you must be careful where you explore when you are underneath the waves. Rarely are you alone. Nothing exists in the ocean that the serpent does not allow.)

You promised Ines you would be careful. In a world where aliens can snap their fingers and change the course of life in the universe it never hurts to be aware and respectful of the myths and the gods others believed in for you never know what you might encounter. You had smiled and taken her hand in yours when the words left your mouth and a promise to be extra careful was made.

☀

It did feel as if you were breaking that promise now as you left behind your phone, not wanting to answer any more annoying phone calls, grabbed your pack and gear and headed up the trail to the base of the pyramid.

There was no escaping the heat. 

It was simply impossible.

There was little solace to find in the shade provided by the thick foliage of the trees and the ocean breeze did manage to move leaves in gentle sways enough to reach you but your prayers to Kinich Ahau sadly went unanswered as the heat of the sun did not lessen. There were guided tours around the pyramid during the busy seasons where tourists invaded the peninsula in hopes of seeing, but never truly appreciating, the history that can be found in this land. One of the guides had befriended you and had mentioned a cave opening surrounded by an arch of hieroglyphics that housed the clearest water in the area.

It was believed to be a gateway to an ancient city forged in the depths of the ocean where the sunlight could not reach and many who still believed in the ancient gods left offerings for K'uk'ulkan.

Not only that but there were said to be schools of fish that pulsed light like eye catching signals that were rumored to be found deeper within the system. It had been mentioned a while ago and you had always had it in the back of your mind to see if you could spot and observe the fish. 

What better time to do it than after a call reminding you that you might have to leave this paradise behind soon because of funding, of all things?

It had taken some time to reach your destination as it was not a well traveled path. Making sure you were hydrated and ready to go, you began to suit up. Your diving ensemble was state of the art. The suit itself worked wonders for helping you camouflage to your surroundings allowing you for the best sights of the marine life that happily swam around you after they got used to your presence. You didn’t have to wear a heavy tank that limited your time in the water thanks to the mask your mentor’s genius friend had invented and the fins you swam with actually worked pretty well when you were in a hurry.

Making sure your pack was hidden away in case someone else decided to explore the area, you carefully stepped into the water. The mask you wore covered your face entirely allowing you the luxury of not having to let your eyes adjust to the water. You did close your eyes for a moment, however, to take in how amazing it felt to be completely submerged.

This was home.

You were beneath a pyramid that was built somewhere along the 3rd and 9th AD by a powerful and rich civilization, miles away from where others would consider your actual home, sinking into an unknown darkness without any fear of what might be waiting for you. So many others would not find this particular situation comforting at all but you did.

The water called to you.

Like the soothing song.

This was home.

- 

“Mi niña, tienes que tener cuidado por dónde exploras cuando estás debajo de esas olas. Rara vez estás sola. Nada existe en el océano que la serpiente no permita.”

(My girl, you must be careful where you explore when you are underneath the waves. Rarely are you alone. Nothing exists in the ocean that the serpent does not allow.)

-

Detaching the flashlight strapped to your thigh, you brought it up to shine at the cavern walls. You had been swimming for some time now, alone in the darkness, and though you had encountered some animals none of them were the glowing fish the tour guide had mentioned. What you had found, however, were intricate hieroglyphics that seemed almost untouched by time. Your eyes widened as you took in the absolute artistry in front of you.

How had they not been eroded by the currents after centuries?

You touched them and allowed your fingers to trace through the creases of the smoothly carved images. Had these been above water at some point? What did they mean? You could only make out a few images. Pushing back to get a wider view and moving your hair so nothing obstructed your vision, you listened to the sound of your own breathing as you moved the light further down; eyes eagerly searching for new wonders when suddenly your breath caught in your throat.

Eyes. You had seen eyes staring up at you and the moment your light hit them, whatever it was moved out of the way quickly. They weren’t the eyes of a fish, it looked human, it looked like a person.

You immediately moved your light all around you, twisting to see if you could catch a glimpse of what had run away from you. You had felt the water move and push against you as whatever it was swam away but it was back to nothing. It was just you in the darkness and the sound of your racing heart but you were no longer fooled. You were not alone.

Years of diving experience have made you become extremely well aware of your surroundings. You had to be when you spend as much time as you do in the ocean where the animals that lived there have evolved over millions of years to perfectly exist within the places you were not fully equipped to be in. That’s why you weren’t shrugging off what you saw as a figment of your imagination or a construct of your mind adjusting to the dark.

You saw a man. The eyes of a man.

And now you were seemingly alone but there was something there, something in the quiet shadows and you could all but feel his gaze. 

Movement came from underneath you and into the path of your flashlight calmly wandered a nurse shark. Large, brown, and gentle; most definitely a nurse shark. Your brain began to give you facts about how many different species of sharks are cave dwellers and how nurse sharks are most definitely one of many different kinds found in the peninsula. You tried to calm your breathing to the almost lazy movements of the animal before you who was not frightened at all. It was home, it felt safe.

Yet you could not just simply calm your mind enough not to worry.

There it was again. You could feel something beneath you. Remaining calm, you closed your eyes as tightly as you could, reminding yourself of so many different situations you had been in where the danger level had been much higher and never had you felt this much fear. Never once had you feared even the biggest ocean creature but a man, this man…

You pointed your flashlight beneath you.

Below, curling up ready to attack, was a giant serpent.

Its tongue extended past its wide open jaw and around the head sharp triangle-like spikes circled around it in layers like a lion’s mane. The light only reached so far but it was clear that it was posed in action and ready to devour you whole. 

K'uk'ulkan

Fear moved you before your mind could rationalize the giant feathered serpent to be nothing but a statue. You had never complained about the quality of the swimming fins you wore but quickly kicking your feet to get away from your perceived threat, you had moved too quickly right into a protruding hieroglyph that smashed into the shield protecting your face, your mask. You didn’t think that you hit it hard enough to crack but water began leaking into your mark by your eye, causing you to move both hands quickly to try and stop it. Your flashlight drops into the darkness. You cannot believe how unprofessionally you are acting and how stupid your decisions have been when you know better. She taught you to know better.

The water was now gathering beneath your chin. Your body was pressed against the cave wall, one hand trying to cover the crack in your mask while the other maneuvered around your bags around your waist to find something to fill the crack. Your hair bunched in front of you as you moved and during that movement something that went down to the cave floor and retrieved your flashlight.

You bet it wasn’t the nurse shark as the light turned off and the darkness did what the serpent wanted to do.

It swallowed you whole.

You centered yourself as much as you could and the water stopped as it reached your lips thanks to the plaster you had which you securely placed on top of the damaged part of your mask. It was not a permanent fix and you needed to get out of the caves. Now. Your heart was racing and you could feel your hand trembling as you gripped another flashlight from where they were strapped to your thigh but before you could turn it on strong hands grabbed your own and pulled you forward.

Instinctively, you thrashed against their hold hoping to escape but it felt like trying to pull your arms away from steel. You were pulled forward again and in the darkness your hands reached out and you felt…were those beads? A necklace? A chest? There wasn’t much time to determine what anything was before you were pulled further into the darkness. Whatever had you moved with the ease of an eel and the strength of a shark. It was disorienting being pushed around in total darkness with the water inside your mask splashing around, making you cough it out when your hazardous breathing accidentally made you swallow some of it. You could do nothing but let yourself be led.

You should’ve listened more carefully to Ines.

It felt like an eternity later but eventually you saw light. This cave you did not recognize but that mattered little as you were released and you began swimming towards the surface. You must be somewhere close to the surface as it seemed to be more than an air pocket where you were in. In the center was a platform, a perfect circle made out of stone that sat above the water and you gripped onto the edge with all your might ignoring the pain as you raised yourself onto it.

Your mask was the first thing to be removed as you moved to the center of the circle, coughing up water and breathing lungfuls of air. You were greedy after almost being sure breathing air was something that would never happen again. On your back, eyes facing the stalagmites reaching down towards you from the cave’s ceiling, feet still protected by the fins, and mask discarded next to you. You counted yourself lucky to be alive.

You had said it in your call to Enrique what seemed like forever ago even though it was just that very day. There was something about this place that refused to let you leave and your need to discover it, to understand it, had almost landed you a watery grave in the place you felt most at home.

Turning yourself onto your stomach, your wrists hurt where you had been grabbed and dragged through the water. Whatever it was, whatever that humanoid was, had the strength of a killer whale. You sat up and looked into the water. There was nothing there at first but then out of the water emerged a king.

You didn’t know who he was, what he was, but instinctively deep down you knew you were in the presence of something ancient, something above a human. It was like the water both clinged to him and helped him rise; a pure display of power just right there before your eyes. His hair was darker than the shadows of the caves, his neck adorned with gold and pearls, his eyes contained the rage of a summer storm, and on his feet…wings. 

Fluttering white wings. 

It can’t be…

He spoke in Yucatec Maya that much you were sure of. The pronunciation and formation of the words you were familiar with as the locals had tried to teach you one several occasions. It was too fast for your less than basic knowledge to pick out any words you knew but you did not need to be fluent in his language to understand that what he was saying certainly wasn’t good.

Then he surprised you.

“You have wandered around my home as if it belonged to you.” The anger in his voice was palpable yet he remained right where he rose from the water. “For many months, you pushed past the boundaries set in place and ignored the warnings to satisfy your own greed. My people have kept a close watch on you. You have trespassed for the last time, surface-dweller. What do you say for yourself?”

“I…” You struggled to find words, any words, in the presence of his might and fury. It may have been the incredible situation that you were in that made your mind override the need for survival with boundless curiosity and amazement. It was the only explanation you could think of for the way you sat up to look directly at him while your mind went wild processing and connecting what you now had knowledge on.

“It’s you. You’re…him. She was right. They were right! They truly had seen you. But the stories span hundreds of years, that must mean you’ve been alive for quite some time! A-and the reefs, the fish, they’re in abundance here. A thriving healthy community amidst so many disasters. If your people were watching me then-it was their work! I knew it! There was no way everything could be that pristine with the level of tourism, even with the help of the locals. It’s unfortunate to say that but it-it makes sense, you-”

He roared in Maya t’aan; though you may not have understood him exactly, you did understand context and his call for silence as his patience diminished. The cavern walls amplified his distaste as he stepped onto the stone circle before you. You bowed your head in fear of looking into his eyes again and kept your hands close to you in an attempt to stop them from trembling.

“My name is (Y/N) (L/N). I am a marine biologist and I never once intended to trespass into your territory. I have dedicated myself, my life, to the betterment of the oceans.” You explained through a shaky voice as he neared you, eyes firmly placed on the stone before you. “I may have wandered too close to places I should not have been at but I swear to you I meant no harm. Not to you, your people, or any creatures I may have encountered. Meent' uts, K'uk'ulkan.”

((Please, K'uk'ulkan.))

It felt to you as if an eternity had passed in the quiet that followed.

He wasn’t unaware of the state of the surface world. To be prepared for your enemy meant keeping yourself knowledgeable on their movements, their advances, their whispers. The reports he had gotten from his Talokanil is that you had an understanding of the oceans in ways they had not seen other surface dwellers have before. The ocean creatures calmed in your presence, almost welcoming it, seeking you out when you entered their home. You did not seem hostile or aware at all of their existence yet you chose to explore many of the routes created to lead to Talokan. You could never reach it. Not with your mask and suit that would do nothing to protect you from the pressure of the deep or the frigid temperature.

Your good deeds preceded you and just as your curiosity led you, unknowingly, to them it was his curiosity to meet the one his scouts spoke of that had led him to you.

“I have many names. My people call me K'uk'ulkan, but my enemies call me Namor.” He spoke with a deadly tone, causing your eyes to close as your mind jumped to the worst. “You have caught my attention as many surface dwellers have not. You are not welcomed in these waters and it will do you well to remember my words. Nothing roams my oceans, close to my people, without my permission and you do not have it.”

☀

There were many aspects of your profession that you adored.

Phone calls serving as reminders that your funding was running out was not one of them.

Being banished from the place you most loved by an ancient feathered serpent god was not one of them.

It had been a full moon cycle since that fateful encounter and you had taken a lot of that time to think about what the future held for you. It was difficult ignoring the call of the sea but that time had been spent being more involved with the village and carefully listening to all of the parts of their culture they chose to share with you. There were those that believed and those that did not heed the tales of the elders. You did your best to remain neutral but interested.

He had disappeared into the water after forbidding you from telling anyone of his existence and of what you had now come to know. Your mask had also mysteriously vanished. You had made it back to your cabin by the time the sun dived deep beneath the waves and for the rest of that night you could not sleep.

“Estos turistas! ¡No tienen respeto por nadie ni por nada!”

((These tourists! They don't have respect for anyone or anything!))

That’s how you had been woken up by a young boy named Mateo that you had befriended during your time in the village. He told you that there had been a big boat, painted in bright colors, that had been rented by some tourists a couple of times over; the boat was filled with men disturbing the wildlife and the boy had seen them wrestling a sea turtle out of the water. Mateo had shouted at them to stop from the shore but that did nothing as they did not listen.

The wind blew your hair behind you as you steered your boat in the direction of where the boy had seen the turtle go after it had been thrown back into the water. They’re fast swimmers and with only the light of the moon it would be a miracle if you spotted the injured animal but you had to try.

You were around the area of where the boat had last been seen by Mateo and looking back at the bay, you had moved farther away than they had been by a lot. But this is where your heart had guided you and you never doubted your instincts. You prepped the boat and lowered the anchor, quickly working on lifting the heavy ramp off the side of your little vessel preparing to have to lift a decent sized sea turtle. The bay was the home to many beautiful green sea turtles and though they were stunning, they were large heavy animals. Usually a rescue like this would be done by a team but it was just you.

You in the middle of the pitch black ocean you were told you weren’t welcomed in.

You were steady as the boat rocked and you held onto the railing of the steps leading down as you looked all around you and placed your hand in the water. This world had many living in it with special abilities forced to be kept secret for their safety. You did not believe you had any. You were sure there was nothing special about you until your early days on the field proved you wrong. You couldn’t communicate with sea animals but they did seem to come to you when they needed help. 

Too many things happened that had no real good explanation for you to brush them off as coincidences.

The ocean was a completely different world from the one you lived on, now more than ever you were aware of that fact. Regardless of what you believed was real or not, you knew you could not go searching for the injured one so you closed your eyes, gripping onto the side latter until your knuckles hurt, and called out to the animal.

You felt ridiculous.

You weren’t special. 

It wasn’t going to work.

Moments passed with no result and you had to fight the urge to just jump in the water, knowing the search would not be fruitful without your equipment. Your eyes watered and you scoffed at yourself becoming emotional. It had not been easy spending a month away from your research, away from laughing underneath the waves as fish darted around you and intelligent little octopi tried to steal your stuff. Just as it had not been easy to lose the one person who understood your need to be in the water.

A head with large eyes and hexagonal shaped markings popped out from the dark and soon the entire body came with it. The shell had been cracked, almost cut into. It wasn’t unheard of for tourists to try to remove the shells off the turtles to keep them as souvenirs and it angered you that it had even been attempted.

Your gasp of surprise quickly became gentle words of encouragement.

“Hi, beautiful, hello. It’s okay. It’s okay. You found me and I’m going to help you, okay? You’re a big girl aren’t you? I gotcha, beautiful. You’re so smart, all turtles are. I’m going to take care of you, let me just-” You had turned to face the deck and yelled.

K'uk'ulkan stood on the deck of your boat. Water rolled off his body and the moon silhouetted his imposing figure, allowing the pearls around his neck to glow on their own. The wings on his feet shook the moisture off of themselves and in his hand he held a scepter (or was it a spear, there wasn’t much light) crafted of gold and jade.

“You scared me! I didn’t even hear you-wait, your majesty, wait! I didn’t go back on my word. I need your help. Please.” You pleaded while frozen to your spot on the stern. “She’s hurt. She came to me for help. I can’t lift her onto the ramp and then onto the boat alone but if you could help me. Not for me. For her. Meent' uts, K'uk'ulkan.”

You had said it again. You had begged the god the same way you had done in that cave.

For the second time he was inexplicably moved to spare you.

The green sea turtle was young and healthy, you estimated around 200 to 250 lbs just by her sheer size. He showed absolutely no difficulty lifting up and placing the animal in the containment tub.

“I kept my word, you know.” You said as you quickly moved to grab a flashlight to inspect the shell. “I didn’t step into the water once. But this is my job, what I’m passionate about. I can’t just sit back and stay inside my cabin knowing there’s someone out here that needs me. If this gets me killed, so be it. Just let me make sure she gets treatment, an open shell like this is dangerous. I don’t want an infection to set in.”

You lost yourself in your work. Quickly diagnosing what you could without your equipment, writing it all down, and making preparations to get back to the cabin and contact the right people before you noticed that he was still there; watching your every move as you made it, concealing whatever he felt behind the strong confident body language of a god.

“You are different.” His head tilted to the side as he allowed himself to see you, to truly see you. “Her pain is soothed by your touch and you called out to her in the water. I saw you. How?”

“No, I didn’t do that. I was just, um, trying something. It’s a coincidence.”

“How did you know where to guide your boat in the darkness?”

You didn’t know what to say. 

“I’ve got good instincts. I have to take her back to land and call the closest rehab facility. Will you allow me that much?” You asked, not wanting to rush him and ask the deity that may or may not decide to end your life to leave so you could get the turtle to safety as quickly as possible.

He bowed his head in agreement and you did your best not to sigh in relief right in front of him. It was left unsaid but it was understood and this would not be your last encounter and that it would not be the last time the conversation was brought up. You didn’t think about that now, or you tried not to at least, as you started bringing in the ramp and calling up the anchor to start your return to shore. 

You had a job to do.

The god’s sentencing would have to wait.

☀

You had caught the attention of a god unlike any on the surface world had before.

There were no early signs of how much your life would change in the simple refusal of leaving the place you were slowly carving out a home after a lifetime of denying yourself one. The things you wished you could change were how you had gotten there; you would do anything to bring back your mentor. The past could not be changed but the future could be forged into whatever you desired.

There were so many stories to tell of how you got to where you are and you intended to share them. It’s been a long journey to get here.

To your boat sitting alone in the middle of dark waters, welcomed, with moonlight shining overhead.

With you sitting on the stern, hand in the water, calling out to the depths to the king that had stolen your heart as if it had always been meant for him.

It always took a moment and you could not see into the inky black waves but you could feel him approaching and your heart melted when a hand took yours within the water and laced your fingers together.

“You came.” You smiled, using your other hand to move his hair away from those eyes you loved so much.

“I always will when you are the one calling. Join me. I have much to show you.”

☀

((A/N: I'm excited to be actually inspired to write for the first in so many years! This is part one of many one shots that won't be tied to each other so they can be read in any order! If you got to this point and you want to talk about the movie, I'm just one message away! L'iik'ik Talokan!))

[housewilson]

A MASTERLIST OF ALL THE BOOKS I COULD FIND IN TIM'S BOOKSHELVES

As someone who basically sees Tim Laughlin as my own version of Jesus Christ (I kind of wish I was lying but I have a 'beyond measure' tattoo branding my skin so perhaps I'm entirely serious), I simply needed to know what was on those shelves of his. And this was a hard task to achieve, believe me... but I got much farther than I initially thought I would.

(I've got so much to say about all of these books and how they might string together to create a deeper understanding of Tim as a character but I won't go into it here... maybe in a future post or video essay, who knows).

If you wish to help a girl out and attempt to figure out any of the other books I simply can not crack no matter how I look at the screenshots and mess with the adjustments... here's a folder full of 2k sized screenshots of those shelves.

Before I list the books one by one, I want to make a couple observations:

1) Almost all of the books I was able to pinpoint are non-fiction. The ones that aren't are children's books.

2) Topically, we see an interdisciplinary interest in:

History: from a book on a king in 4BC, to a survey of landholding in England in the 11th century.

Somewhat current historical events: books on World War I and II.

Western Philosophers: specially from the 16th to the 18th century.

Aesthetics: there's at least 2 books on the subject matter, but I couldn't find the second one, sadly.

Spirituality: not only christian/catholic; some of these books touch on Eastern practices such as Buddhism and Hinduism.

Fairy tales / children's books.

Psychology: specially in regards to mysticism and sexuality.

Science and scientific discovery/research.

3) A lot of the history, current events, and spirituality books are autobiographies/memoirs.

4) A lot of books (specially those on sciences and philosophy) tend to be more so anthologies or overviews on a subject matter rather than a book written by one specific author on one very concrete topic.

Overall, this all reflects very well an idea Jonathan Bailey himself expressed in a brilliant interview you can watch here if you haven't yet:

"Tim has buddhist flags in his 1980s flat in San Francisco, he has crystals, he is someone who is always seeking other ways to understand human experience. Which is probably tiring for him. Throughout the decades, he sort of appears as completely different people. At the crux of it there's this extreme grinding, contrasting, aggressive duality between feeling lovable and not feeling lovable. There's such shame in Tim. But it's the push and the pull which keeps him alive.”

This desire to understand human psychology, spirituality, and the ways of the universe through as many diverse lenses as possible, as well as a predilection for non-fiction, expresses very much to me that insatiable thirst for truth that defines his character so strongly.

OKAY, THAT BEING SAID. Here's the list in chronological order of publication.

PS. if you decided to click on any of the following titles it'd definitely not take you to a google drive link of the pdf file where you could download and read these books for yourself. Because that would be illegal and wrong.

Journeys through Bookland by Charles H. Sylvester (1901?) (1922 Edition)

I don't know which specific volume he owns, sorry, I tried my best but the number is not discernible (hell, the title barely is). If anyone wants the download link to these hmu because I'm not about to individually download all 10 right now.

10 volumes of poems, myths, Bible stories, fairy tales, and excerpts from children's novels, as well as a guide to the series. It has been lauded as ‘a new and original plan for reading, applied to the world’s best literature for children.’

Pilgrimage by Graham Seton Hutchison (1936)

This book provides a view of the battlefields of WW I through the eyes of the average fighting man. 

One curious thing about this book is that it's author, a British First World War army officer and military theorist, went on to become a fascist activist later in his life. Straight from Wikipedia:

"Seton Hutchison became a celebrated figure in military circles for his tactical innovations during the First World War but would later become associated with a series of fringe fascist movements which failed to capture much support even by the standards of the far right in Britain in the interbellum period." He made a contribution to First World War fiction with his espionage novel, The W Plan."

The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton (1948) 

The Seven Storey Mountain tells of the growing restlessness of a brilliant and passionate young man, who at the age of twenty-six, takes vows in one of the most demanding Catholic orders—the Trappist monks. At the Abbey of Gethsemani, "the four walls of my new freedom," Thomas Merton struggles to withdraw from the world, but only after he has fully immersed himself in it. At the abbey, he wrote this extraordinary testament, a unique spiritual autobiography that has been recognized as one of the most influential religious works of our time. Translated into more than twenty languages, it has touched millions of lives.

This book requires no introduction. It's the one he keeps the Fire Island's postcard in and the one we see him re-reading in episode 8 after Hawk brings it to the hospital with him at the end of episode 7.

Just a little detail I noticed:

Apparently he liked the book so much he visited Gethsemani, which was the home of its author all the way up till 1968.

For all we know, he might have even met its author!

Sexual Behavior in the Human Male by Alfred Charles Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy (1948)

When published in 1948 this volume encountered a storm of condemnation and acclaim. It is, however, a milestone on the path toward a scientific approach to the understanding of human sexual behavior. Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey and his fellow researchers sought to accumulate an objective body of facts regarding sex. They employed first hand interviews to gather this data. This volume is based upon histories of approximately 5,300 males which were collected during a fifteen year period. This text describes the methodology, sampling, coding, interviewing, statistical analyses, and then examines factors and sources of sexual outlet.

Yes, Charles Kinsey is indeed behind the Kinsey scale that has done so much for the LGBTQ+ community.

Their Finest Hour (1949), The Grand Alliance (1950), and Closing the Ring (1951) by Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill's six-volume history of the cataclysm that swept the world remains the definitive history of the Second World War. Lucid, dramatic, remarkable both for its breadth and sweep and for its sense of personal involvement, it is universally acknowledged as a magnificent reconstruction and is an enduring, compelling work that led to his being awarded the Nobel Prize for literature in 1953. 

The European Philosophers from Descartes to Nietzsche by Monroe C. Beardsley (1960)

In so far as we reflect upon ourselves and our world, and what we are doing in it, says the editor of this anthology, we are all philosophers. And therefore we are very much concerned with what the twelve men represented in this book--the major philosophers on the Continent of Europe--have to say to us, to help us build our own philosophy, to think things out in our own way. For the issues that we face today are partly determined by the work of thinkers of earlier generations, and no other time is more important to the development of Western thought than is the 250-year period covered by this anthology. Monroe. C. Beardsley, Professor of Philosophy at Swarthmore College, has chosen major works, or large selections from them, by each man, with supplementary passages to amplify or clarify important points. These include: Descartes - Discourse on Method (Descartes), Thoughts (Pascal), The Nature of Evil (Spinoza), The Relation Between Soul and Body (Leibniz), The Social Construct (Rousseau), Critique of Pure Reason (Kant), The Vocation of Man (Fichte), Introducciton to the Philosophy of History (Hegel), The World as Will and Idea (Schopenhauer), A General View of Positivism (Comte), The Analysis of Sensations and the Relation of the Physical to the Psychical (Mach), Beyond Good and Evil (Nietzsche).

The New Intelligent Man's Guide to Science by Isaac Asimov (1965)

Asimov tells the stories behind the science: the men and women who made the important discoveries and how they did it. Ranging from Galilei, Achimedes, Newton and Einstein, he takes the most complex concepts and explains it in such a way that a first-time reader on the subject feels confident on his/her understanding. Assists today's readers in keeping abreast of all recent discoveries and advances in physics, the biological sciences, astronomy, computer technology, artificial intelligence, robotics, and other sciences.

The Heavenly City of the 18th Philosophers by Carl L. Becker (1932) (1962 reprint)

Here a distinguished American historian challenges the belief that the eighteenth century was essentially modern in its temper. In crystalline prose Carl Becker demonstrates that the period commonly described as the Age of Reason was, in fact, very far from that; that Voltaire, Hume, Diderot, and Locke were living in a medieval world, and that these philosophers “demolished the Heavenly City of St. Augustine only to rebuild it with more up-to-date materials.” In a new foreword, Johnson Kent Wright looks at the book’s continuing relevance within the context of current discussion about the Enlightenment.

I find the particular choice of adding this book very curious and on brand, since it explores the idea that philosophers of the Enlightenment very much resembled religious dogma/faith in their structure and purpose. Just... A+ of the props department to not just add any kind of book on philosophy anthology.

Herod The Great by Michael Grant (1971)

The Herod of popular tradition is the tyrannical King of Judaea who ordered the Massacre of the Innocents and died a terrible death in 4 BC as the judgment of God. But this biography paints a much more complex picture of this contemporary of Mark Antony, Cleopatra, and the Emperor Augustus. Herod devoted his life to the task of keeping the Jews prosperous and racially intact. To judge by the two disastrous Jewish rebellions that occurred within a hundred and fifty years of his death -- those the Jews called the First and Second Roman Wars -- he was not, in the long run, completely successful. For forty years Herod walked the most precarious of political tightropes. For he had to be enough of a Jew to retain control of his Jewish subjects, and enough of a pro-Roman to preserve the confidence of Rome, within whose territory his kingdom fell. For more than a quarter of a century he was one of the chief bulwarks of Augustus' empire in the east. He made Judaea a large and prosperous country. He founded cities and built public works on a scale never seen before: of these, recently excavated Masada is a spectacular example. And he did all this in spite of a continuous undercurrent of protest and underground resistance. The numerous illustrations presents portraits and coins, buildings and articles of everyday use, landscapes and fortresses, and subsequent generations' interpretations of the more famous events, actual and mythical, of Herod's career.

Readings in the Philosophy of Art and Aesthetics compiled by Milton Charles Nahm (1975)

A college level comprehensive anthology of essays written on the arts and the field of aesthetic philosophy.

The Mustard Seed: Discourses on the Sayings of Jesus Taken from the Gospel According to Thomas by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh (1975)

This timely book explores the wisdom of the Gnostic Jesus, who challenges our preconceptions about the world and ourselves. Based on the Gospel of Thomas, the book recounts the missing years in Jesus’ life and his time in Egypt and India, learning from Egyptian secret societies, then Buddhist schools, then Hindu Vedanta. Each of Jesus' original sayings is the "seed" for a chapter of the book; each examines one aspect of life — birth, death, love, fear, anger, and more — counterpointed by Osho’s penetrating comments and responses to questions from his audience.

(You don't know how fulfilling it was to find some of these books and just sit there like "oh my god, yessss, he'd SO read that".)

A Third Testament by Malcolm Muggeridge (1976)

A modern pilgrim explores the spiritual wanderings of Augustine, Pascal, Blake, Kierkegaard, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, and Bonhoeffer. A Third Testament brings to life seven men whose names are familiar enough, but whose iconoclastic spiritual wanderings make for unforgettable reading. Muggeridge's concise biographies are an accessible and manageable introduction to these spiritual giants who carried on the testament to the reality of God begun in the Old and New Testaments. - St. Augustine, a headstrong young hedonist and speechwriter who turned his back on money and prestige in order to serve Christ - Blaise Pascal, a brilliant mathematician who pursued scientific knowledge but warned people against thinking they could live without God - William Blake, a magnificent artist-poet who pled passionately for the life of the spirit and warned of the blight that materialism would usher in - Soren Kierkegaard, a renegade philosopher who spent most of his life at odds with the church, and insisted that every person must find his own way to God - Fyodor Dostoevsky, a debt-ridden writer and sometime prisoner who found, in the midst of squalor and political turmoil, the still small voice of God - Leo Tolstoy, a grand old novelist who swung between idealism and depression, loneliness and fame and a duel awareness of his sinfulness and God s grace - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, a pastor whose writings and agonized involvement in a plot to kill Hitler cost him his life, but continue to inspire millions

Portraits: The photography of Carl Van Vechten (1978)

Can't find a file but you can borrow it from archive.com in the link provided.

During his career as a photographer, Carl Van Vechten’s subjects, many of whom were his friends and social acquaintances, included dancers, actors, writers, artists, activists, singers, costumiers, photographers, social critics, educators, journalists, and aesthetes. [...] As a promoter of literary talent and a critic of dance, theater, and opera, Carl Van Vechten was as interested in the cultural margin as he was in the day’s most acclaimed and successful people. His diverse subjects give a sense of both Carl Van Vechten’s interests and his considerable role in defining the cultural landscape of the twentieth century; among his many sitters one finds the leading lights of the Harlem Renaissance, the premier actors and writers of the American stage, the world’s greatest opera stars and ballerinas, the most important and influential writers of the day, among many others.

Report of the Shroud of Turin by John H Heller (1983)

Heller, while a man of science, was nevertheless a devout man (Southern Baptist). He viewed his task concerning The Shroud with great scepticism; there have been far too many hoaxes in the world of religion. The book describes in great detail the events leading up to the team's conviction that the Shroud was genuine; last - not least - being Heller and Adler's verification of "heme" (blood) and the inexplicable "burned image" of the crucified man. Although carbon dating indicates that the image is not 2000 years old and that the cloth is from the Middle Ages, there is not enough evidence to disprove Heller's assertion that the Shroud is indeed genuine.

Context for those who may not know (though I doubt it's necessary): The shroud of Turin "is a length of linen cloth that bears a faint image of the front and back of a man. It has been venerated for centuries, especially by members of the Catholic Church, as the actual burial shroud used to wrap the body of Jesus of Nazareth after his crucifixion, and upon which Jesus's bodily image is miraculously imprinted."

It is a very controversial subject matter and I definitely don't know that from going to an Opus Dei school since the day I was born till the day I graduated high school.

Mysticism, Psychology and Oedipus by Israel Regardie (1985)

I've tried my hardest but despite many Israel Regardie books being on the world wide web, I can't find a copy of this specific one.

Mysticism, Psychology and Oedipus, from the Small Gems series is one of these mysterious alchemys which Regardie and Spiegelman crafted for the serious student of mysticism. Mysticism, Psychology and Oedipus by Dr. Israel Regardie and his friend, world renowned Jungian Psychologist, J. Marvin Spiegelman, Ph.D. was created to reach the serious student at the intersecting paths of magic, mysticism and psychology. While each area of study overlaps they also maintain their own individual paths of truth. One of Regardie’s greatest gifts was his rare ability to combine these difficult and diverse subjects and make them understandable.

Domesday Book Through Nine Centuries by Elizabeth M. Hallam (1986)

In 1086 a great survey of landholding in England was carried out on the orders of William the Conqueror, and its results were recorded in the two volumes, which, within less than a century, were to acquire the name of Domesday, or the Book of Judgment 'because its decisions, like those of the last Judgment, are unalterable'. This detailed survey of the kingdom, unprecedented at that time in its scope, gives us an extraordinarily vivid impression of the life of the eleventh century.

The following two are a fuck up on the props department part because they were published after 1987 but we'll forgive them because they were not expecting for me to do all this to figure out the titles of these books, I'm sure:

The One Who Set Out to Study Fear by Peter Redgrove (1989)

This book barely exists physically, rest assured it does not exist online... LOL.

The author of The Wise Wound presents here a re-telling of Grimm's famous fairy tales, written in a manner and spirit more suited to the present day. Each story is rooted in the original, but cast in an energetic style that is both disrespectful and humorous. 

Essential Papers on Masochism by Margaret Ann Fitzpatrick Hanly (1995)

The contested psychoanalytic concept of masochism has served to open up pathways into less-explored regions of the human mind and behavior. Here, rituals of pain and sexual abusiveness prevail, and sometimes gruesome details of unconscious fantasies are constructed out of psychological pain, desperate need, and sexually excited, self- destructive violence. In this significant addition to the "Essential Papers in Psychoanalysis" series, Margaret Ann Fitzpatrick Hanly presents an anthology of the most outstanding writings in the psychoanalytic study of masochism. In bringing these essays together, Dr. Fitzpatrick Hanly expertly combines classic and contemporary theories by the most respected scholars in the field to create a varied and integrated volume. This collection features papers by S. Nacht, R. Loewenstein, Victor Smirnoff, Sigmund Freud, Jacques Laplanche, Robert Bak, Leonard Shengold, K. Novick, J. Novick, S. Coen, Margaret Brenman, Esther Menaker, S. Lorand, M. Balint, Bernhard Berliner, Charles Brenner, Helene Deutsch, Annie Reich, Marie Bonaparte, Jessica Benjamin, S.L. Olinick, Arnold Modell, Betty Joseph, and Janine Chasseguet-Smirgel.

Let's not forget another book we know has been present in his shelves at some point:

Look Homeward, Angel by Thomas Wolfe (1929)

It is Wolfe's first novel, and is considered a highly autobiographical American coming-of-age story. The character of Eugene Gant is generally believed to be a depiction of Wolfe himself. The novel briefly recounts Eugene's father's early life, but primarily covers the span of time from Eugene's birth in 1900 to his definitive departure from home at the age of 19. The setting is a fictionalization of his home town of Asheville, North Carolina, called Altamont in the novel.

And Ron Nyswaner mentioned in a podcast (might be this one? I'm not sure) that he scrapped from the script a line where Tim recommends this poem at some point:

He specially emphasized the line "If equal affection cannot be, Let the more loving one be me".

And lastly, if anyone wanted to know:

His copy of the bible is the Revised Standard Version by Thomas Nelson from either 1952 or 1953.

Because why the hell not figure out what specific translation of the holy bible a fictional character was basing his beliefs on — as if the set designers cared nearly as much as I do.

[fsfghgee]

Your name's become synonymous with betrayal.

To those too obtuse to understand me. ~ Bi-Han [Sub-Zero] to Syzoth [Reptile] MK1.

I think most people aren't paying enough attention to Bi-Han's nuances because of their own frustrations with specific traits/situations that make up his character (especially because of the way Bi-Han treats Tomas and how most characters despise Bi-Han's actions), but I admire you, @evilbihan and @inflamedrosenkranz, and @cienie-isengardu, and all those who make the slightest effort to understand the character. You are in the minority that highlights these nuances and I think this is so necessary, because I really don't understand how so many people see Sub-Zero Bi-Han from MK9 and Mythologies who barely had lines or interaction with other characters as deeper than Bi-Han Sub-Zero from the Liu Kang Era that got multiple interactions, diverse relationships and much longer story mode time.

Also, I think it's funny to see people saying to this day that Bi-Han Sub-Zero from previous timelines was neutral and now he's like a cartoon villain, as if the old one was somehow more noble than Bi-Han from the Liu Kang era, when all the og Bi-Han did in the past was spare Sareena because she was the only one who BEGGED him not to kill her (after he had already killed 2 demons, his rival Scorpion and more a couple of people to complete the mission) and tried to reverse the actions that the success of his mission would entail after Raiden told him to do so (otherwise, he would die. His realm would be destroyed by his client Quan Chi). Also, Raiden confirmed that his soul was indeed tainted with evil (like, he had a kind of predisposition to end up in Netherrealm for doing bad things and somehow enjoying it).

However, at no point does Liu Kang, the god and creator of Bi-Han in MK1, says that Bi-Han has a "evil heart" or that his soul is tainted with evil as Raiden told him in previous timelines. Other characters who barely know him and know nothing about his and the clan's life before he abandoned the duty imposed by Liu Kang, judge him and judge the things he does as evil without even knowing the reason behind it (and let's be honest, if all the supposed lives that Bi-Han's actions in the hope of elevating the clan cost were taken at the behest of Liu Kang, the same people who judge him would be applauding. As if some lives were worth more than others…).

And unlike Tomas, that mission at the Ying Fortress was not Bi-Han's first and the battle he missed to free Shao from prison in OutWorld would not have been his first battle either.

"After our years of idleness, it pleases me to again face kombat".

Those deep frustrations that Kuai Liang said he knew Bi-Han had, but that he never imagined that Bi-Han would accept the first offer that came along to escape them…

Tomas [Smoke]: Letting Father die… Forsaking Earthrealm? He's abandoned all reason! Kuai Liang [Scorpion]: I knew Bi-Han's frustrations ran deep. But I never thought they could inspire such madness. We can't let his corruption spread.

Did he really never imagine this could happen? Or did he just ignore what Bi-Han felt? What he used to say? And how his brother wasn't the only one who felt that way…

Tomas [Smoke]: What are you doing? Once he's exposed, won't you be made Grandmaster? Kuai Liang [Scorpion]: You forget Cyrax and Sektor. Their loyalty to Bi-Han is absolute. They'll sooner abet his corruption than follow me.

Liu Kang says he abandoned his family and some people say he betrayed his brothers, while in fact Bi-Han offered more than once the opportunity for Kuai Liang and Tomas to join him, but they declined his offers of peace because they did not agree with his vision (and they were bitter because Bi-Han had let their father die, I know I know).

All Bi-Han wants for the clan is a better future and he did what he thought was necessary to achieve it. He would like to share a prosperous future with Kuai Liang (and Tomas, even though he probably prefers Tomas to keep his mouth shut and his enthusiasm for tradition and his "father" to himself), but he was rejected. They are the ones who abandoned him first.

Bi-Han [Sub-Zero]: End this, brother! Embrace the future. Kuai-Liang [Scorpion]: I want no part of it!

Sub-Zero: Heed your Grandmaster! Scorpion: I will not betray our principles.

Sub-Zero: Your rebellion stings. Scorpion: You expect less from Scorpion? Sub-Zero: You could have ruled at my side. Scorpion: Just the thought of it sickens me.

Sub-Zero: I've gained the Lin Kuei's freedom. Smoke: You've only earned them infamy.

Sub-Zero: Resist me, and there will be consequences. Smoke: And to think I once idolized you.

Smoke: I rejected the Lin Kuei to fight for justice. Omni-Man: Justice? How stupidly self-righteous of you.

Bi-Han will not stop pursuing a better future for the Lin Kuei to please Kuai and Liu Kang, because the Lin Kuei is what matters most to him. And I'm really glad that leaks clearly show that Bi-Han was and still is an anti-hero (aka not conventional hero). And I'm not talking about og Bi-Han and his victory over Fujin and Quan Chi, I'm talking about Bi-Han from MK1 who more than once has already put his own life on the line to defend Earthrealm and will continue to defeat anyone, including gods, to defend the people he loves.

He has his own agenda, but even Liu Kang recognizes that it's not an evil one, but as we all know, Bi-Han has been walking crooked to achieve this. I'm not going to delve into how his mother may have influenced his life and the decisions he made or how the supposed not-so-great relationship he had with his father motivated him to do what he did, but there is no shortage of hints that his parents were an important part in the formation of his character (as parents are in the life of anyone who has/had them...),

Sindel: Both your parents were excellent fighters. Kuai Liang [Scorpion]: I can only hope to live up to their example.

Bi-Han [Sub-Zero]: My father was a fool to follow you. Liu Kang: He wisely honored Earthrealm with his service.

Tomas [Smoke]: If Mother were alive… Bi-Han [Sub-Zero]: She would applaud my actions.

I just want to say thanks to anyone who is interested in the nuances of Bi-Han and as much as I don't like certain attitudes of Kuai Liang and Bi-Han, I hope that one day Kuai accepts Bi-Han for who he is, not who he would like him to be, and that Bi-Han gets what he wants in the least destructive way possible. I know, a fighting game needs conflicts, but Bi-Han's connection with Kuai was and will always be eternal. Blood connection is an understatement.

Raiden: I never thought *you* would betray Earthrealm. Sub-Zero: My only loyalty is to the Lin Kuei.

__________

[blues824]

Mind if I request Housewardens + Tweels dating S/O, who create dumb plans that somehow work?

Gender-neutral reader. I’m sorry these are short!!

Riddle Rosehearts definitely is against your plans. He has to be really desperate in order to go along with you. When he does, he’s always surprised by the success of said idiotic plans. If we’re talking about overblots, he does not want you risking your life just to carry out a plan you designed that would work around your not having magic. You do it anyway, and you almost always get hurt, but it is successful. He has even seen you challenge a student to a dance battle, and he was worried you had lost your head but you were just a diversion to an even bigger plot.

Leona Kingscholar finds your plans amusing because they are really dumb and you always end up as the butt of a joke. However, what’s more amusing to the lazy lion is the success rate, which is unbeatable. You definitely have the advantage, with the windfall that you always have. During his own overblot, you challenged him to a dance battle, and he was so confused until he was hit over the head with a chair. He woke up in the infirmary a bit dazed, but he remembered what happened a few minutes later and he had a ghost of a smile at the success you had with distracting him.

Azul Ashengrotto is also not on board with your plans. They’re too stupid for him to even begin to comprehend. What’s even harder for him to understand is how they are 99.99% successful, that 0.01% going to injuries people have sustained when following you. During his overblot, you were hiding behind a rock and pointed a laser pointer at his forehead. He noticed it, and was afraid that he was going to get swatted but instead he was taken down and subdued by the tweels. The idea was dumb, but everyone gave you kudos because it worked.

Jade Leech would definitely find your plans amusing as well as intriguing, but because of who he is, it would be a 50/50 chance of getting him to follow you. He would much rather be watching from the sidelines, because he wants to be eating popcorn watching the whole thing go down. The one time you got him on your side was when Azul overblotted, and you had an idea to distract him. It was surprisingly dumb and even suicidal because you would be pointing a red laser pointer at the Housewarden, but it worked and he, with Floyd, were able to subdue his boss.

Floyd Leech always goes along with your plans because of how amusing they are. You always manage to surprise him with your really dumb (but successful) ideas, and he’s never left with nothing to do. However, it wasn’t until he saw the success that he regularly started following your instructions. The first time he went along was when Azul overblotted. You told him that you would distract the overblot victim by pointing a laser pointer at him and grabbing his attention. Then, he and his brother would swoop in. It worked, and Floyd was pleasantly surprised.

Kalim Al-Asim would go along with you if it wasn’t for Jamil being there to stop him from doing something reckless. Of course, he is sad whenever someone gets hurt from your idea, but if the goal is achieved then he isn’t one to complain. When Jamil overblotted, Kalim was willing to follow you because he really didn’t know what to do. What he didn’t expect was for you to use your phone to connect to a speaker within Scarabia and start playing Single Ladies by Beyonce and do the dance to distract the Vice Housewarden. It worked, though, and Kalim got to see your moves.

Vil Schoenheit is definitely against your plans because of how reckless, damaging, and unbelievably dumb they are. Success records be damned, if he finds out that one of his dorm members went along with your ideas, they are being punished. He can’t do much with you because you are a fellow Housewarden. However, when he overblotted, he did not expect you to come up to him with a face full of cakey makeup, unmatched eyeliner. It was a successful diversion because he was freaking out about the imperfection. Have you learned nothing?? Well, you did, and he realized it in the infirmary.

Idia Shroud has experience with dumb plans in video games, but you actually carry them out in real life. He honestly admires your courage… well, he can’t tell if it’s courage or stupidity, maybe a mix of both. Anyways, he never goes along with your plans because he hates going outside, so don’t be surprised when he refuses to help. The only time where he came close to your plan was when he overblotted, and he was paranoid because he didn’t know what your next move would be. You entered the scene in cosplay, and it successfully distracted him. He can tell you that even though you were just acting as bait, you did a pretty damn good job at it.

Malleus Draconia would go along with some of your plans, as long as it gets him away from his retainers and gets him more time with you. He has seen you get prepared for the overblots as well, with terrible makeup, a costume of sorts, a laser pointer, and a few different times you were whispering the lyrics to some song about… unmarried women? He’s not exactly sure what it meant, but he pushed it aside. Also he has seen your plans and he has never laughed as much as he did. Laughter is forgotten whenever you get hurt, though, and he has almost murdered one of the overblot victims for hurting his mate.

[writingmingyu]

Fade Into You

Title: Fade into You Pairing: Joshua x Gender-Neutral!Reader Genre: Fluff, childhood friends to lovers Summary: After drunkenly agreeing to meet an online friend in real life for the first time, you discover this wasn’t the first time you’d met. Word count: 4.8k plus 2

Author’s Note: This was part of the @svthub Fall-ing for You collab! I had fun writing this as it's something different for me. I wanted to give off Gilmore Girls vibes with this and I think I achieved it.

I hope you enjoy reading! And don't forget to check out all the other fics that are part of this collab!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

You double-checked your appearance in the rearview mirror before taking a deep breath and leaving the car. You were about to go on your first blind date in forever and you were freaking out. 

Well it wasn't entirely blind, you had been talking to JH48536 for about a month now and finally had the confidence - or too much wine - to agree to meet in person. You were just worried it was going to be a disaster. 

Everyone had warned you that meeting up with someone from an online chat room was dangerous. You had about six friends in a group chat on standby ready to jump in and save you at a moment's notice. Even as you walked through the parking lot towards the cafe you spotted Soonyoung and Minghao chilling in Soonyoung's car. 

Subtle. You texted Minghao as you opened the cafe door. 

Just say the word and we'll create a diversion. Was the response you got back. You shook your head with a smile before pocketing your phone, imagining Minghao running into the cafe with ketchup on his face yelling that there was some kind of crash outside. Soonyoung would be lying in the middle of the street. 

You open the door to the cafe and are immediately hit with the warmth and smell of coffee beans. You loved coming into a cosy space after being out in the autumn air, no matter how little or how long you were outside. You approach the counter and read the specials board, just as someone is calling out the name of the next person’s order.

“Joshua!”

You’re head turns on instinct to look for who this Joshua might be. It couldn’t be, you thought to yourself as you scanned the room. But sure enough, it was as if you had materialised him from thin air.

Joshua Hong stood up from the corner of the room and made his way to the counter. He was taller and his hair was darker, but there was no mistaking this man. It was Joshua, your Joshua. The same Joshua you had been best friends with when you were ten years old. The one you had kind of had a crush on but were too afraid to admit and then his family moved out of town and you never saw him again. Until now.

He smiled as he thanked the waitress for his coffee, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. He still had the same mischievous smirk that used to get you two into plenty of trouble as kids.

“Joshua?” You say, catching his attention before he heads back to his seat.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Joshua walked over to give you a hug. It had been ten years, but he still smelt the same as you remembered, like toasted almonds and sandalwood.

“What’re you doing here?” You were still in a bit of a daze when you separated. Your heart beating faster and a flush coming to your cheeks. You hadn’t really thought about Joshua since he’d moved away but now he was standing in front of you and memories came flooding back.

“I just moved back into town, I was actually thinking about you the other day.”

“Really?” You cursed yourself for sounding hopeful.

“Yeah, I was wondering if you still lived here. And here you are.”

“Here I am,”

“Do you wanna hang out for a bit? I’m supposed to be meeting someone but they’re not here yet.”

“Yeah sure, let me just order some coffee first.”

Joshua headed back to his seat and you ordered a pumpkin spice latte. As you were waiting at the counter, your phone pinged with a message. It was just Soonyoung asking if everything was going okay, but you’d been distracted by your childhood friend reappearing that you’d completely forgotten why you were there.

Yeah, everything’s fine. He’s not here yet but ran into an old friend. You texted back.

You got your latte and went to sit down opposite Joshua. You still couldn’t believe he was back after all this time. But as you fell into conversation, it was almost as if you two had never been apart. You were instantly reminiscing about the past and all the adventures you had together.

“So I’m thinking I have been stood up,” Joshua says after a while. You had both finished your coffees and time had been ticking on.

“Oh, I totally forgot you were meeting someone!” Come to think of it, you were supposed to meet someone too. You check your phone to see a few messages in the group chat - Minghao had done a drive-by of the cafe window to scope out your ‘childhood friend’ and everyone was wondering if he was cute.

Pics??? Soonyoung had asked.

He’s definitely her type. Minghao had reported back to the group.

You rolled your eyes and opened up the app where you had been talking to your mystery man. Your heart almost stopped when you saw he was online, and you felt like time had slowed when you could see he was typing. This was definitely going to be a ‘sorry I can’t make it’ message. You had been talking with Joshua for at least half an hour, there was no way this guy was going to show up now.

“Is something wrong?” Joshua asked.

“Everything’s fine,” you say, the guy had stopped typing and you looked up to see Joshua had pulled out his own phone. “It’s just, I was supposed to meet someone too, and I was just checking to see if he had messaged, it looked like he was typing so I think he might’ve changed his mind.”

“Oh no, that sucks,” 

“It’s fine,” you tried to brush it off. It wasn’t the first time you’d been stood up, besides you had your friends outside so you wouldn’t be lonely. “Did you hear from the person you were supposed to meet?”

“I’m actually just going to send them a message now,” Joshua turned back to his phone and began typing again, you watched as he typed out his message and pressed send. Maybe he was having better luck than you were. “Maybe they didn’t see me in the corner.”

As Joshua puts his phone away, you’re phone pings with a message. Your heart is beating in your ears as you glance down, prepared for the worst.

Hey, I’m here but I got caught up talking with a friend - I don’t know if you’re here yet but just wanted to let you know I didn’t forget about our meeting today 🙂 We are in the corner of the cafe, just come over and say hi.

“Oh my God,” you whisper to yourself. You read the message a couple of times over before looking up at the man in front of you. Was Joshua the person you were supposed to meet today? This didn’t make any sense. You had been talking to this guy for weeks, surely you would have pieced together if you were talking to someone you knew? 

You looked at the username again and suddenly it clicked - JH48536 - Joshua Hong. How it hadn’t occurred to you before you had no idea. You had never asked this man his name, he had never asked for yours either and most of the time you just thought it was a random username with letters and numbers. You didn’t think it actually stood for anything.

“Joshua, is your online username JH48536?”

“Um…yes?” He responds looking confused.

“And did you just send a message saying you are with a friend and you didn’t forget about your meeting today?”

Joshua’s confused face turns to one of realisation as he pieces together what you’d just told him. “So you’re HopelessRomantic24893?” Your username was not your best, but you hated being put on the spot for that kind of thing.

You nod still in shock, thinking about when Joshua was talking to you online. He had mentioned something about his childhood best friend, he was sad that you’d never kept in touch after he moved and you had related to that saying you missed the old boy next door. It’s crazy how you never made the connection about each other before.

“That’s wild,” Joshua leans back in his chair. He was probably doing the same thing you were doing, trying to see if there were hints in your previous conversations about who you were. “I had no idea,”

“Me neither,” you wanted to laugh, it was a strange coincidence but you were relieved to know that you weren’t stood up and grateful that the person you met online wasn’t a total stranger.

“So what now?” 

“Well, I should probably text my friends and let them know you’re not a serial killer.” 

Joshua laughs, “how do you know it’s been a long time,”

“I feel like if you wanted to kill me, you would’ve lured me into a dark alleyway by now. Besides you didn’t know I was your mystery date,” you typed out a message to your friends that you were fine before stowing your phone away.

“True, but now I know, there’s still time.”

“Well, my friends know who you are now so I’d say reschedule the murder plans for another day.”

“I guess I’ll have to go with plan B.” Joshua gets up from his seat and holds out his hand. “Y/N, would you like to come with me on a trip to the town’s autumn fair?”

“I’d love to,” You take his hand and you head out of the cafe.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

You hadn’t been to the annual autumn fair since you were sixteen. It was the kind of thing that only appealed to families and elder people. It was held at the farm on the edge of town and the whole community came together to celebrate the harvest season. 

Before you step out of the car, you begin swiping away messages from the overactive group chat. Once you had told the boys, Joshua was your blind date they started freaking out and wanting more information. All you told them was you were safe and they could go home. But you couldn't help looking over your shoulder to see if Minghao and Soonyoung had followed you. They had to be around here somewhere, they weren’t going to leave without photos for the group chat.

"Wow, I haven't been here in forever." Joshua yawned, stretching his arms above his head. You couldn't help but notice his sweater ride up when he stretched, revealing some of his stomach. 

"Me neither," you replied, taking a breath and looking around. "Still looks the same though."

You had loved coming to the farm with Joshua as a child. You would compete in apple bobbing and he always won, chase each other through the corn maze and spend hours in the pumpkin patch choosing the perfect pumpkins for carving. 

"Where do we start?"

"Well, I don't know if apple bobbing is still your thing," you say as you pay for your entry fees. "But I think you still hold the record."

"No way, really?" Joshua's eyes lit up. "Let's go see."

You approached the apple bobbing stations by the barn. There were a group of kids huddled around a barrel trying to grab apples with their teeth. Looking back you realised it probably wasn't the smartest thing to be doing growing up, but it was tradition. 

The leaderboard was pinned to one of the barn doors and Joshua walked ahead to read it. 

"Joshua Hong, twelve apples." He read. "I was good."

"Y/N, three apples," you pointed at the bottom. "I shouldn't even be on there."

"Three's pretty good, considering." Joshua tilted his head toward the group of children. They probably had one apple between them.

"Apple bobbing is hard, you just have a big mouth."

"Nah you just didn't wanna get wet." 

"Getting a little wet never hurt anyone, you wanna go again?" The words come out of your mouth before you realise what you've said. It wasn't exactly the first date activity you had in mind, and you usually wouldn't be so forward but being around an old friend made things easier. If anything, it was your childhood competitiveness coming out. 

"I'm game if you are," Joshua was already shrugging out of his coat and scarf.

You rolled your eyes. "Game on," you pull your own scarf off and knelt down in front of a free barrel. 

"Y/N? Joshua Hong?" The woman who was supervising the apple bobbing came to stand in front of you. 

"Mrs McDonnell! Nice to see you!" Joshua smiled, he always was a charmer to people of authority, your old principal especially. 

"Don’t tell me you two are really going apple bobbing,” the principal looked down disapprovingly at both of you but there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Absolutely, we are. I came to defend my title.”

"Well, you know the rules, you have two minutes to get as many apples as possible. You can only use your teeth, no hands! I know you used to cheat Joshua.”

“So that’s how you have managed to get so many apples,” you should have known he was cheating but you were always too busy focusing on your own apple-bobbing attempts to notice.

“That’s not true! And I’ll prove it, right here, right now.” Joshua put his hands behind his back. 

“All right, I’ll be keeping a firm eye on you then.” Mrs McDonnell opened her phone to set a timer. “Your two minutes starts…. Now!”

You and Joshua both lean down towards the apples in the water, immediately being brought back to being ten years old, you begin to work an apple over to the edge of the barrel to try to bite into it. Joshua’s head was next to yours and you could feel him struggling next to you, he definitely cheated when you were children.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally had a good enough grasp on the apple with your teeth to pull it out of the water and you dropped down next to you. Before heading back in, you took a few seconds to watch Joshua. He was trying the same technique as you and was furiously biting at an apple trying to get enough of a grip to lift it, but it kept floating away.

“Not so easy without your hands, is it?” You smirk.

“You’re just a square for playing by the rules.” Joshua shot back, finally managing to grasp the apple with his teeth and pull it out of the water.

“Thirty seconds left!” Mrs McDonnell calls.

You both dive back into the water and almost bump heads, but you work hard to get a second apple. All you needed was one to beat Joshua and that was something you could hold over his head forever.

Thankfully, you were able to spy a smaller apple and were able to get a good hold of it and you pulled it out of the water just as the timer finished.

“Ha!” You said triumphantly. “I win!”

“Congratulations Y/N! I knew you could do it.” Mrs McDonnell handed both of you towels to wipe your faces. “Now, go cause havoc somewhere else. I have children to supervise.”

You dab your face and pick up your belongings. “Don’t feel too bad for losing, it’s your own fault for cheating years ago. There was no way you were going to live up to that.”

“Well, there goes my plan to impress you with my apple-bobbing skills.”  Joshua reached over to wipe some water from your chin. He lingered for a second and your cheeks flushed at the intimate gesture.

“Oh please,” you brought yourself out of the moment. “It was never your apple-bobbing skills that impressed me.”

“Then what was it?”

You thought about your answer as you both left the barn. There were a lot of things that Joshua did to impress you as a child. He was an adventurous kid, and he never backed down from a challenge. The confidence he emanated was contagious and he pushed you out of your comfort zone. 

“The way you were so fearless as a kid.” 

“As a kid? You mean I’m not now?” 

“Well, we only just got reacquainted I don’t know if you still take risks like you used to.”

“I definitely do,” there was a twinkle in his eye, he had a plan.

“Like what?” you were curious, so you played into it.

“Like meeting up with a stranger I met online,”

You rolled your eyes, “I did that too, doesn’t count.”

“What about this?”

Joshua turned to face you, his hands coming up to cup your face and tilting your head up to kiss you. The kiss was soft and only lasted a few seconds, but the spark you felt when your lips connected was electric. You’d never imagined kissing Joshua Hong, you only realised you had feelings for him after he’d moved away but even then, you never pictured anything coming from the crush. You never thought you’d see him again, but here he was, standing in the middle of the fall fair with you, kissing you. 

When he pulled away, you only wish he’d stayed longer, closer to you in your space. Your face felt cold from where his hands had been.

“It was a mistake wasn’t it?” Joshua said, interpreting your pout for him stepping over a line.

“No! The opposite,” you rushed to say. “I’m just surprised.”

“Surprised because I’m still a risk-taker or because I’m an awesome kisser?” 

You rolled your eyes, “Surprised that you think you’re an awesome kisser. Come on, let’s go check out the rest of the fair.”

The rest of the afternoon passed by peacefully, you walked together through the vendors selling trinkets and produce. Both of you willingly taking any free sample that someone offered, just like when you were kids. Though this time, you felt a little guilty so ended up buying a few items from the sellers.

At the end of the stalls, you see someone selling hot chocolate, so you both decide to stop to have a cup. It was the same stall you had always begged your moms to take you to, and they rarely said yes, but now as adults you were not going to deny yourself the pleasure.

Once you had gotten your cup you turned to try to find a place to sit amongst all the people in the makeshift food court area when two people in the corner caught your eye. “I’ll be back,” you tell Joshua.

Your hunch was right about your friends following you to the fair. You headed towards Soonyoung and Minghao.

“What are you guys doing here?” You demanded trying to keep cool.

“Making sure your friend isn’t a murderer,” Soonyoung replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “Just because you knew each other when you were twelve doesn’t mean anything, he could have turned into a murderer since then.”

“That’s funny, he said the same thing. But as you can see, I’m still alive.”

“Look, we’re just enjoying the fair like everyone else, what’s the big deal?” Minghao asked.

“It’s just weird for you to be stalking me on a date. I don’t stalk you guys on your dates.”

“You asked us to,” Soonyoung had a point.

“I guess I did initially. But I told you guys everything was fine.”

“Yeah but if we hadn’t come we wouldn’t have seen the kiss!” Minghao exclaimed, pulling out his phone. It was zoomed in and very blurry, but there was no mistake that was your first kiss with Joshua caught on camera. Had they really been following you that closely?

“Oh my God, tell me you didn’t tell the group chat?!” You pull your phone out to see a LOT of unread messages.

“Sorry, we’re excited for you. This guy seems like a keeper!” 

“That’s great but could you leave us alone now?”

“Fine, but you better text us to make sure you get home safe,” Soonyoung said.

“Sure thing Dad.” 

“I’m just saying, the murderer thing has yet to be disproven. There’s still time for him to lure you into the woods to your death.”

You sighed, Soonyoung was always one for dramatics. “When do you think he’ll pass that test?”

“Maybe by the third date, but I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“Okay, I’m leaving now. You guys should too.”

“We love you too!”

You turned back to your date and hoped you didn’t look too flustered. Joshua had found a table and was just scrolling on his phone. You couldn’t help but get butterflies as you made your way back towards him. It was a strange feeling, one that reminded you of when you used to see Joshua as a kid. You thought it was just excitement for seeing your best friend but maybe there had always been something more there.

“There you are, I thought I’d lost you.” Joshua put his phone away.

“Sorry I just ran into some friends, I just wanted to say hi.”

“That’s cool, so what next?”

“I’m not sure, I’m just glad we were able to get some hot chocolate.” You take a sip of your drink, it had cooled down while you were talking to your friends but it still tasted just as you remembered. Sickly sweet and smooth like silk.

“I think I have an idea.”

Joshua wrapped his hand around yours as he pulled you towards the corn maze. You protested as you were sure to get lost since you hadn’t been there in ten years. “Muscle memory,” Joshua had said, walking backwards as he pulled you in. “I bet I could get us out of here blindfolded. 

You let yourself be dragged into the maze but you didn’t think anything good was going to come of it. The maze was giant and even as kids you usually had to be rescued after getting lost in there. It was one of the only times you were allowed to use your cellphone as a kid and while Joshua always put on a brave face, he was just as scared as you were back then.

“You know, I don’t think we’ve ever made it out of this maze,” you remind him as you begin making turns, left and right, right then left.

“Not with that attitude we didn't. I'm pretty sure we go right here…”

You let Joshua take the lead as you navigated your way through the maze. You were surprised at how well he was doing, or at least amazed at his confidence. You two didn’t speak much as you passed by families, groups of children and other couples. 

A few times you hit dead-ends but Joshua didn’t let you dwell on it too long before he was taking off in a new direction. Even if you were going to be stuck here for a while, you didn’t mind watching Joshua’s broad shoulders and his behind as you followed him around.

“Ah ha!” Joshua exclaimed as you made your way out of the exit. Or rather…the entrance. Somehow you had gone in a huge circle and ended up at the beginning again.

“At least we made it out,” you laughed. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, is it possible the place got bigger since we’ve last been here?”

“Probably, I mean they have to do something to keep people coming back year after year. Still, your navigation skills were very impressive. I wouldn’t have been able to get out of there without you.”

“You’re welcome,” Joshua smiled.

“So we’ve conquered the maze…sort of. Now come on, there’s one last thing we have to do before we leave.”

You led the way this time as you made it to the merry-go-round in the middle of the grounds. It was one of your favourite things about the fair and the place where you always imagined you would have your first kiss.

When you told Joshua this he leaned over from his horse and kissed you on the cheek. “I know we had our first kiss earlier, but we can pretend this was our first.”

“I’ll tell everyone, we had a magical day at the fair and he kissed me on the merry-go-round.”

“That's all I ask,”

You look over at Joshua, but this time not as the boy you once knew but the man he is. It was different now, knowing that all the things an online stranger had told you now applied to the same person you knew as a child. He wasn’t that boy anymore and while you might have had a crush on the boy he was, you were wondering if you could love the man he is now.

As you exited the merry-go-round the fair was shutting down so you made your way back to the car. 

You were sad the day was ending because it had been so perfect. You didn't think you'd ever have a first date like this again. Hopefully, you won't have any more first dates at all. 

When you pulled up to your house, Joshua insisted on walking you to your door, you rolled your eyes but allowed him to anyway.

“You know, no one has ever done this for me before.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t let them.”

“No, it’s because no one has ever offered.”

“Well that’s silly, how else are they going to get their goodnight kiss?”

You blush, knowing that’s what the end of the date was coming to. Even though Joshua had already kissed you a couple of times today, this was the one you had mentally prepared for, and even then you weren’t sure you were ready.

“I guess they don’t get one,”

“And do I?”

“Of course,”

You close your eyes and lean in as Joshua does the same, your lips gently brushing against each other as you feel the jolt of electricity you felt earlier in the middle of the fair. This time Joshua’s hands found their way to your waist to pull your body flush against his, his tongue parting your lips to deepen the kiss.

It lasted minutes, maybe hours, you couldn’t tell the time when you finally pulled apart. Remembering that you were on the porch and any one of your nosy neighbours had probably seen you.

“So?” Joshua said when he stepped back.

“So what?”

“Now will you admit I’m an awesome kisser?”

“Please, that was all me,” You laughed.

“As if,” he laughed too. “I definitely contributed at least 75%.”

“Hmm, let’s agree it was 50/50.”

“Fine, so when can I see you again?”

There was a glint of hope in Joshua’s eyes that made your heart flutter. He was nervous as if you would deny him the chance to see you again.

“Tomorrow?” You bit your lip hoping it didn’t sound too eager. The day had been so fun and you didn’t want to go without seeing him for too long either.

“Sounds good,” Joshua leaned in to give you another kiss, this time on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight,”

“Goodnight, Joshua.”

You stayed on the porch until Joshua had disappeared out of sight before heading inside to warm up. You had desperately wanted to invite him inside but based on the kiss you had had on the porch things probably would have escalated a lot faster than you were ready for. But given the fact you were seeing him tomorrow, you weren’t sure how much more self-control you’d be able to have.

You went upstairs to run yourself a bath and finally let yourself wrap your head around the events of the day. You opened up your phone to reread messages you had sent to Joshua before you knew who he really was. Rereading the texts, you began to read between the lines and piece together the Joshua you knew before with the one you saw today. It was easy now that you knew what you were looking for.

As you reached the end of your messages you saw a new one had appeared while you were scrolling.

Hey, glad to have met you today. Can’t wait to see what tomorrow holds. 🙂

You smiled before typing a reply and sinking into your bath. Another message arrived on your phone and you checked to see yet another message from Soonyoung asking if you got home yet, he had sent at least five in the last half hour. You rolled your eyes at the messages before texting back that you were alive and then opened up the group chat to fill them in on your date.

“You guys will never guess what happened today…” You started, knowing they’d be hanging on to your every word.

[ayeforscotland]

Ah wait, I've got something for you in relation to white American fetishisation of Scotland and other European countries (because unfortunately it's not just Scottland, it's everyone.)

(And this is just an opinion, I have no science to back this up. That must be stated first and foremost.)

To achieve American Whiteness ment that many Europeans immigrating to the states had to shed their cultures in order to be accepted by Anglo European decendents. If you weren't the 'right' type of white then you weren't good enough and were often pushed out.

As such, these people, too, were forced to shed their cultural identity in order to make a living here.

Now, these diverse cultures are celebrated (to a point.) There's celebrations that come from these iterations of faith, foods and dress that come from these homelands, but they're strange derivatives of themselves. Xerox of a xerox of a xerox, made only by a cultural machine that doesn't really understand or want you, but loves the aesthetic of some small component of you, so it takes that, all while simultaneously craving it could be more.

And so NOW that it is no longer 'bad' to be decended from these places, NOW people try to claw their way back, like they're attempting to undo the damage the previous generations did to themselves in order to fit into White American Society, but they have no idea how and so it becomes a crass and ugly thing, often monetized by the same origional Anglo European sphere of influence that put them in this predicament anyway, and then further pits them against NEW people trying to make it here in the states.

(And to that last point, I have to recommend reading an amazing comic in the Nib by Dawson, Why Did They Come, in order to touch on how fucked up that whole thing is (not that we don't already know.) https://thenib.com/why-did-they-come/

But yeah... to summarize- immigrants now seen as acceptably white in the states originally WASN'T and so these people bleached themselves culturally to achieve the Anglo vibe, and now generations later, their decendents cling to fabrications of a culture they were denied in the most grotesque ways imaginable because they know nothing else.

It's like white bread trying to reintroduce culture to itself to become whole wheat again, only to end up giving itself mold.

Some great points there, particularly around the bastardisation of forgotten traditions etc.

I'd be keen to see some evidence of Scottish immigrants to the US being perceived the same way as, for example, Irish or Italian immigrants who eventually became accepted into 'American Whiteness'. Also while many Scottish immigrants who moved to America were poorer, I've never heard of them facing the same challenges as other European immigrants who were perceived as non-white. I expect a large part of that was being part of the British Empire. There was also a disproportionate number of Scots were plantation owners who owned slaves in the south. And while some historians dispute it's origins, I think it's mostly accepted the KKK was founded by descendants of Scottish immigrants , or at the very least, founded by people who drew heavily on that aesthetic. So even if modern Americans who fetishise Scotland are saying they can finally start celebrating their "native homeland's" traditions again - I think there's an element of 'wanting to be seen as victims with a rich history' about it.

[betweenlands]

[[Psst! Hey you! If you are here without context, go vote for the Well in the MCYT Prisons Contest!]] (and also for the Ghost's Vault, too)

“You tubed which Lying!?” Avid’s patron sputters.

Avid winces at the loud feedback screech accompanying their outburst, resisting the urge to clap his hands over his ears – instead, he looks directly over towards the most recently occupied tube, giving its new resident a quick once-over for identifying features. Fox ears, kind of runny mascara (the tube isn’t doing it any favors), raven wings, big floppy hat with a wide brim and a pointy tip.

He snaps his fingers. “Witch Lying! Yeah, that’s the one.”

“You,” the Nameless King says, and then mutters something completely unintelligible. “Avid. You have priorities. You are supposed to stop people from falling into the Void. This sort of diversion is–”

“I thought of that, actually!” Avid says brightly, leaning back against the stasis chamber. “Actually, they were like, a pretty high priority target once I realized I had access to other worlds through this whole… prison bracket… thingy.”

“I’m still not sure how that works, to be honest,” the Nameless King sighs.

“It’s really not that complicated! See, the other Avid is busy being possessed by some weird dark entity called the Old One or whatever, who I assume is like a rival of yours so I’m not going to linger on that because I certainly wouldn’t want to be asked about my exes, but anyway – he’s busy, I’m not –”

“–You have a job–”

“– and so I figured, what the heck, might as well just kinda sneak in there and see if there’s anyone that’s being particularly unsafe! And hoo boy, buddy, you are gonna be glad I did that.”

A pause, then more discontented grumbling from the other side of the line. “You had better have a good reason for taking your eyes off our biggest issues. Marmalade’s still at large, and that Fool could be–”

Avid snickers, rapping his knuckles against the tube despite the sign he’d put up next to it clearly reading DO NOT TAP ON GLASS. “Okay, so here’s the deal. It turns out this sucker right here, the Witch, they’re like – immortal immortal.”

“Most people are somewhat immortal. Respawn exists.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ve taken a respawn in a couple centuries,” Avid says, stretching and moving over to the readout of the tubed figure’s genetics chart. “From an old modded generation – they’ve got some sort of immortality machine somewhere. Couldn’t figure out how to disable that but I did my research and, oh boy, you are gonna be glad to hear about this one.”

“Again. This had better be good.”

“Man, you are tetchy today.” Avid sighs. “I’ll make it quick. Immortality machine runs on death protection poppets. Death protection poppets block void damage. Void deals void damage. People go into Limbo if the Void can’t kill ‘em. You want people not in Limbo. Ergo, pickled Witch in the Woods.”

A long silence.

“Did I oversimplify?”

“No.” They sigh deeply. “Frankly, I’m stunned that you managed to create and follow a totally logical train of thought to completion. If what you’re saying is true, you actually have saved us both a great deal of hassle.”

“Aw. That’s sweet of you.” Avid leans back against the tube again, grinning.

“Don’t get used to it. But… well done.”

Avid grins widely, almost to the point where he has to cover his own face to hide how much he’s smiling. He’s done a good job! He did it! He’s getting a good grade in tubing people, something both normal to want and possible to achieve!

“I asked you a question, Avid,” the Nameless King says. Oops.

“Yep! Definitely heard you the first time, but, could you maybe just… rephrase that in full for a reason that is totally unrelated to me not hearing you?”

A long-suffering sigh. “I asked how you got them in the first place. Didn’t you lose the last round?”

“Eheh.” Avid’s grin turns almost uncharacteristically nasty. “See, that’s the thing. I did. I’ve been picking off the losers for the most part, so everyone’s been worrying about little ol’ me. I mean, who would even bother going after the immortal that won this round? If anything, they’re a suspect.” He waves one hand. “It’ll take people a little while to realize anything’s up – in fact, I can probably pick off a few more people in the quarterfinals before anyone figures out that the Witch is missing.”

“Make your pitch,” Avid’s patron says. “Quickly.”

“You got it.” Avid rummages in his inventory and pulls out a hand-drawn map of the upcoming tournament and a ballpoint pen that was probably Trog’s before they got tubed. He clicks it a few times, tapping it against his chin. “So, this round the Well looks like it might get bodied. Last round got something like a thousand votes – really close call, this place called the Desert versus these things called ‘where is’ blogs.”

“Please tell me you didn’t take out Ross,” the Nameless King says. “I don’t have the time or resources to deal with the Red Sun, and neither do you.”

“I may be dumb,” Avid says, “but I’m not stupid. I didn’t mess with that round. It was too high-profile, and keeping the Desert guys at large means they’re another prime suspect for the disappearances. Which brings me to the winners of that round.”

“Which was…?”

“The where is blogs. Apparently they put people in situations and it’s very popular. But, if they win, I’m thinking I could call in a little request for their next location.”

“Hm.” Avid gets the distinct sensation that the Nameless King is tapping their fingers against something. “Yes, that could work. If they let their guard down after winning like the Witch did, you could sweep in and get a lot of people at the same time – define where they are, as it were.”

Avid twirls the pen around his fingers a couple times before scribbling something down in the margins of his notes. “See, this is why we make such a good team! That is exactly what I was thinking we could do.”

“Excellent. Then make sure they win the next round – and don’t let me down.”

Avid nods, and then realizes that his patron can’t see him doing that, and then decides that he doesn’t really have anything to add. Awkward silence fills the air for several seconds.

“One more thing,” the Nameless King finally says. “You said you were picking off the losers, didn’t you?” Their voice is dryly annoyed again – so much for being happy with Avid’s job performance. “I would love to hear who else you’ve wasted our time on.”

“Not a waste of time!” Avid says brightly, hopping over the top floor railing and down to a lower floor. “So, there’s this really cute version of Viking that I would, just, love to talk with over drinks sometime, seems like a really fun dude, has this beautiful vault –”

“Avid. Focus.”

“Uh. Right. Probably won’t be able to talk to him face-to-face unless he gets into the finals, so I’m gonna have to work really hard to see if I can–”

“Avid.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Avid waves a hand as he checks over the occupant of the next tube. “Anyway, the guy he beat was really distracted and kind of stormed off muttering about how people should’ve had new perspectives or something? He was alone, so I bopped him over the head and tossed him in a stasis chamber.”

Avid looks over the catboy in the tube appraisingly. He’s wearing all-black with green and yellow highlights – he kind of looks like an emo version of Viking, if Viking actually wore hoodies. And had brown hair. And didn’t really look like Viking other than the heterochromia. “I don’t know his name, but apparently he’s Canadian? Whatever that means, I don’t think Canada canonically exists in–”

“You’re not serious.”

“I am! We cannot confirm Canada to be like, a canonically existing thing, that’ll break suspension of disbelief! Or at least that’s probably what Anathra would say.”

“I don’t care about the relative canonicity of Canada. You’re telling me you captured Kenadian? The person known for breaking into and out of places faster than anyone else? The prison escapist?”

“Ohhh,” Avid says. “He’s not Canadian, his name’s Kenadian. You know what, that makes so much more sense.”

[sleepynegress]

A COMPREHENSIVE & AUTHENTIC UHURA LOVE/HISTORY POST

The above is where Roddenberry 1st employed Nichelle Nichols [click to watch the full clip]. It was a military show based on Roddenberry's own experiences, the episode is called To Set it Right (I highly suggest reading the wiki article about it).

You should note two other actors, whom he later pegged for Star Trek are in the episode.

They dated briefly and then became good friends way before Trek came about.

Miss Nichols was already an accomplished singer and dancer who performed regularly w/ Billy Eckstine and Duke Ellington

Roddenberry's 1st show, The Lieutenant, was canceled/pulled from the air before these scenes bluntly dealing with racism could air (there's blackface as punishment for the racists at the end of the show, in a case of 'he 'a little confused but got the spirit' for the times, so tw)

He created Star Trek to try to soften the blow of all the social messaging he wanted to insert from his military experience. Star Trek was basically, a submarine drama placed in a sci-fi setting. He made it diverse on purpose because the military helped him travel and serve with all kinds of people. Roddenberry was inspired by that.

Uhura was the first person to read for Spock and in fact, helped to shape the character with her reading and based many of the traits of Uhura (formerly Uhuru) on Spock.

She was basically a glorified secretary. She played the part with poise, joy, and the 60's style womanism she got to play out for those times... Everything from her mini-skirt (which Nichelle herself called very comfortable) to her smile, and teasing lines, and quips were about her playing "big" in a small role. She made every moment, every look, every line, and movement count:

Roddenberry cracked jokes about the fact that the network never figured out that Uhura was fourth in command.

Nichelle was the only main cast member who was not salaried. She was paid by the hour. This attempt at marginalization actually resulted in her being the highest paid at times, because of the long hours.

Nichelle was not let in the front entrance at times, her fan-mail was kept from her, and she grew frustrated with the constant cutting of her scenes, lines and storylines. This is why she justifiably attempted to leave. The bigots in production did not like her being there (and if we're being real, were it not for Janice Rand's actress Grace Lee Whitney having gone through so much and thus losing her job in the 1st season...Uhura might have had even LESS presence)

The lost context in MLK convincing her to stay was that YES she was minimized and could make more money and be more fulfilled on broadway, but her symbolism and presence meant so much at a time when Black women weren't on TV unless as a racist caricature cleaning a house, and even that was rare...that she stayed.

One of her best allies was DeForest Kelly, who threatened to quit if they fired Nichelle. George Takei was her absolute best friend on the show and in life (she served as his Best Woman at his wedding).

There was an unfilmed episode in which Uhura and Deforest would have played reverse roles in "racial dynamics" on a planet they visit

Spock and Uhura were originally supposed to kiss in the alien mind control episode, but Shatner demanded to do so for the publiicity.

Her work to recruit marginalized people as astronauts, as in personally going to colleges and talking to candidates after the show is a staggering achievement that arguably is the most potent of any castmember in any of the Trek series post-show. Sally Ride, Guy Bluford (she personally recruited the 1st woman and 1st black astronaut), Mae Jemison (the 1st black woman credits her for inspiring her to become an astronaut).

Uhura did finally command the ship in the animated series. She would not have gotten to voice the role, but for Leonard Nimoy making it an obligation that all the original actors voice their parts for him to come on.

Scotty and Uhura in the film was definitely a pair the spares situation, in which both were the leftover senior citizens with the writers just going "why not?"

it was beyond insulting and she did protest about the scene where she's bumbling through a giant translation book to speak to klingons for laughs in trek 5 ...but her best moment IMO is her pulling a gun on the young ensign in the transporter room in Trek 3...sadly her ONLY scene in the damn movie.

Miss Saldana got to play to MANY corrections in JJ Abrams rebooted Trek, from being amazing at languages to having an actual life & love, to confidently turning down Kirk at every turn.

FUN FACT!! Both JJ and Bob Orci both expressed disappointed shock that the love story between Spock & Uhura got more hatred from fans than BLOWING UP PLANET VULCAN.

another FUN FACT!! The love story between Spock & Uhura is what grabbed the old school Star Wars fan (JJ Abrams) enough to come aboard to direct. Yep. JJ ships Spock & Uhura.

Zoe's iteration became the 1st version of Uhura to speak confidently in Klingon

Celia Rose Gooding becoming Uhura brings around a lot of Uhura's qualities full circle, IMO. As she is also from theatre (like Nichelle) and has a beautiful singing voice as well as the charm. Zoe's iteration was sharper, and much more protective, professional, & mature, about her life and love.

Celia Rose has the youthful curiousity and stars in her eyes and had vulnerability from her first intro... I loved the eagerness the crew showed to being in her orbit, seeing the glow of her talent and being drawn to that, to have a part in nurturing that.

As I've said... Celia IMO has the most dazzling smile, giant warm brown eyes, fantastic curves, and an energy that feels essentially Uhura, & that is all light, joy, a bit of uncertainty, -from the light singing (!) and the growth to her joy in discovery... I'd love to see her writing move away from serving and be more about her wants needs and growing in friendships/loves.

But Celia is a gift and is perfectly cast.

Essentially Uhura = femininity, graceful carriage, gorgeous smile, excellence in engineering and translation (canon!), ability to sing and play the Vulcan lyre, sharp womanist wit, love for her U.S. of African-Kenyan culture and being beloved by all crew...

When Miss Celia hummed those gorgeous notes to the alien entity on that comet?? That Solidified that she IS Uhura IMO.

I 100% think they fucked up by killing Hemmer, because that mentor-mentee relationship was giving marginalized coming together and bonding over everybody else's bullshit and I was here for it...it was giving me Data and Geordi updated...and since then, IMO they've lost track and given us the same kinda backwards wingwoman role BS, that people who like to pretend to be her fan shoehorn her into.

...but I have high hopes that they'll course-correct.

All this to say ALL OF THE ABOVE is Uhura and anyone calling her ugly, bossy, pushy, annoying, whatever is just sad little hater who doesn't know wtf they are talking about.